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Doing A Job That You Hate Is Like Going To Prison

There are a huge number of people that really dislike their jobs and when they get up in the morning and head for their workplace, they feel like they’re going to be incarcerated for the next several hours, which in a sense they are.

Why Do People Hate Their Jobs?

There are many reasons why people don’t like their jobs, the most obvious being that it’s a horrible job that nobody would like.

Imagine going to work every day in a very cold room that had no windows, and getting all your instructions over a set of headphones.

I know somebody that did that for ten years, and it took me six years to convince them to quit.

A great many others feel that they are being exploited by their employer which is a really bad feeling, and most are simply doing a job that doesn’t suit them.

So Why Don’t They Quit?

Fear is the main reason that people continue doing jobs that they hate, and they fear that:

a) They won’t find another job.

b) That they might not succeed at the new job that they’ve been offered, and will get fired.

c) That the new company might fail etc.

And all the above reasons offer genuine cause for concern which is why starting to work for yourself might be the best option, because you won’t have to look for a new job, and you can’t get fired, so the odds are better.

The First Thing To Do

The very first thing you should figure out is how you’d prefer to make a living, because if you move from one career that you didn’t like to another that you don’t like, then you’ll have more than likely gone backwards.

Everybody, and I mean everybody has at least one talent, and that’s what you should be using to generate your income, and if you use it then you’ll make more money than doing something that you have no talent for.

If you have a hobby that you love, and you can’t wait to spend more time on it, then it might well be time to start making money from it.

You’ll Most Likely Need To Simplify Your Life

When you make a career change, especially late in life, it’s likely that you’ll earn less for a while, so if you don’t have a nest egg then you’ll need to lower your outgoings.

If you’re doing a job that you want to get out of, then every time you buy something that you don’t need, and especially if you buy it on credit, then you’re increasing your ties to the job!

So don’t buy things that you don’t need, and if you have a lot of things that you never use, then sell them.

You’ll Probably Need To Develop A Cross Marketing Skill

Developing a cross marketable skill is something that will help free you from your present job, and you will gain it in an effortless and most likely pleasant way, by learning more about your hobby or the thing that you’ve decided to make your next career.

Let’s take a look at what we’ve covered so far:

1) You’ve decided what you want to do next.

2) You’ve simplified your life, if you needed to.

3) You have a good understanding of the new career.

So When Should You Quit Your Job?

When you quit will depend mostly on what you’ve decided to do next, and whether or not you can do it part-time, or need to do it full-time.

Regardless of whether it’s part-time or full-time, you’ll still need to start investing whatever money you’ve built up in advertising and buying what you need, and this will obviously be easier if you still have a regular income, but there’s a psychological downside however to holding onto your old job, and that’s that nothing motivates a person more that needing to do something.

After you quit your old job your motivation to succeed will be sky high and that’s a wonderful thing, but when you quit will be a very personal decision and will depend on many factors, but you’ll know when the moments right for you.

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People frequently tell me that they can not meditate, they have tried, can not do it and have given up. So they miss out on all of the benefits that meditation can bring. Learning to meditate is like learning to do anything else; you begin knowing little or nothing and practice until you can do it without thinking. Start right now, find out why meditation is worth doing and follow these five steps that will make meditation easy.

Recently I was working with a young woman who told me that she was extremely stressed and unhappy with her work. She said that she had no time to herself, no time to think and her mind raced constantly. In an average day she had information overload from the time that she woke until she went to sleep. She would rise in the morning to the television, took her iPod when she went for a walk, listened to the radio to and from work – you get the picture. Sound familiar?

To start, we found some time during the day when she had zero information flow. The TV was turned off in the morning and no radio in the car to and from work. Just quiet time to contemplate. We then moved to meditation. “Well”, she said, “I have tried that. I can’t meditate and I hate it.” Turned out she had launched into an hour long session, could only last a short while and decided it was not for her. An all too common story.

What is meditation and why bother? Meditation is a process or technique that you use to clear and calm your mind. You can use meditation just for that purpose or you can focus your meditation on something that you desire such as prosperity or well being. Meditation has been scientifically shown to be a powerful healing tool and a self help tool for achieving stress reduction and better sleep. Many people enjoy the personal development, self awareness, inner peace and freedom that results from meditation. Successful entrepreneurs often claim that meditation creates clarity of mind which in turn effects their success.

So how do you meditate? The following five steps will help you to get started:-

1. Learn something about meditation, just as you would with any new pursuit. There is an unlimited supply of books, web sites, free classes and resources available. Start at the beginning and get to know a little.

2. Be very patient with yourself and release any expectations that put you under pressure to perform. In meditation you are quieting and clearing the mind but the mind may want to keep right on thinking. Be patient and just keep drawing your mind back to focus upon the meditation.

3. Start with a short time, try five minutes, and increase the length of time over a few weeks. Even a few minutes will make a difference so see step one and just be patient.

4. Before you begin to focus on meditation, I highly recommend the use of a relaxation audio program. You can download podcasts and other resources free, from meditation sites on the internet. Start with some of these and learn to relax and then lead into meditation. When you become adept with your meditations you will continue to commence every meditation with a short relaxation.

5. Try this simple meditation, starting with a short time. Get into a comfortable position; sit on a chair with your feet flat on the ground, try sitting cross legged on the floor or lie on your back well supported wherever you need it. Close your eyes and feel your body relax. Take several deep breaths and release your breath with a deep sigh. Relax more and feel the tension float away with every sigh. Now imagine that your body is a vessel full of water and feel the water draining from the top of your head down through your body to the soles of your feet. Just slowly, let it drain downwards and then feel it moving slowly from the soles of your feet to fill up your body, up to the top of your head. Feel this happening, imagine it happening and let it happen naturally. Should your mind wander off, just bring it back to the water and gently move back into the meditation. Do this for as long as it takes for your mind to give up and just be empty or for as long as you like. Each time, see if you can do it for longer until eventually you find your mind calms and stops thinking. At that time you will find that you can feel every part of your body at the one time. You should just feel that feeling for as long as it lasts or as long as you like.

Keep it simple! This is a great principle when learning relaxation and meditation. Be patient with your self and move to higher forms of meditation when you are comfortable to do so. You are your best teacher when it comes to meditation which is a great way to learn about yourself. Have fun and create yourself a little head space.

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It’s not just that social media is about connecting and relationships, or that business is about relationships.

It’s not just that social media has helped to facilitate that connection across borders of distance.

Nor is it about the fact that social media can penetrate through layers of handlers to get you in touch with people you admire, those who admire you, customers and clients that do repeat business with you, or other important people you otherwise never would encounter.

It’s about that Moment.

There’s a moment when you’re getting to know someone in which they turn from someone you know in passing, to someone you want to interact with on a regular basis. If you spend enough time talking to someone, regardless of the medium, you click, or you don’t click.

And when you do, they will do or say something innocent that betrays their integrity, honesty, grit, humor, courage, passion, understanding, faith, depth or some other magnetic personality trait.

For an instant, just a smooth, slender, sweet second, you witness another person’s soul blossoming.

That’s an important but rarely referenced reason that people are willing to spend hours attempting to make the connections to people. Regardless of how you make that link to another human, it’s of the utmost relevance.

No, it can’t be measured by science.

But neither can the effects of brushing your teeth each morning on your income. Yet there’s no doubt that if you didn’t, it would affect every in-person encounter you made.

And if you look at the companies that are weathering economic storms with their dignity intact — or barely notice the storms when they come — their companies have it. If yours doesn’t, if your corporation doesn’t come across to others as an organization made of people that are connecting to other people, well, you need to get it.

Not just in the sense of acquiring this quality but of GETTING it. Understanding it.

How?

Pursue those moments relentlessly.

Open up and let people have them with you, let them see you as a person. It doesn’t mean you’ll have to reveal your whole self, though you needn’t be afraid to do so. It just means you’ll expose what’s authentic about yourself and infuse it in all your marketing, your copy, your emails, your articles, blog posts.

Even if you outsource, you can make sure your voice is not lost.

Pursue those moments relentlessly.

Make an effort to find the people you believe you’ll have those moments with, for no other reason than the fact that you’ll make another connection to another human being.

And if you have trouble trusting that this will add up to some specific hard number of currency in x number of days, then make it an activity you invest a minimum amount of per day time on, a marketing experiment for a month. Try it on just one site.

No one says you have to be on Twitter all day. You can go for 15 minutes and leave, if you like.

But do it.

Do it.

Make one new, meaningful connection each day, and make it count.

Pursue those moments relentlessly. Enrich your online life as if it were part of the rest of your life.

Because guess what?

It is.

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All the ingredients for a truly awesome life are already inside of you. You only need to recognize and acknowledge the presence of all that you need and then begin the execution of putting that skill set in motion to develop the totally awesome aspect of yourself.

If you are like most people, you are probably familiar with the concept of application as it is often spoken of in school. Your teachers may have said that you could do much better if you would only apply yourself. However, there is much more to application than comments about not trying hard enough or not doing enough and it is much more positive!

Application means that you have everything you need for a happy, fulfilling, successful life. While there are many things ahead to learn, you may be pleasantly surprised to find how much you already have, as well as how easy it actually is to put all of your special gifts to good use.

As an individual person, you have two different types of gifts. As a member of the human race, you have all of the same gifts as every other person. You were created with intelligence, emotions, common sense, the desire to do well, and a number of others. In addition, you also have gifts which are completely unique to you. You have special talents and abilities which no one else has in the exact same manner. You have much to offer to the world, and much to look forward to in your own life.

Application will help you to do the most for yourself, the people you care for, and the world in which you live. When you look at all of your gifts and talents, all it takes is the motivation to apply them on a regular basis. No matter how young you may be today, you have so much to contribute.

When you make application a part of your everyday life, it will result in a double-benefit. You will be making your life the very best that it can be. Instead of simply looking toward success, you can be taking step after step to excel. You will also be doing your part to make the world a better place, because no one has exactly what you have. No one can contribute in the same way that you can. Application can make a wonderful difference in your world and in your life!

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The ‘Golden Rule’ occurred in the Greek and Chinese cultures thousands of years before the Christian era: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” The spirit of the Golden Rule is one of generosity and altruism and is at the heart of any personal networking and ‘right’ living. Ralph Waldo Emerson said ‘To have a friend, you have to be one’, and his words are as true today as they ever were.

You can test this out yourself by completing the following simple exercise:

List ten people you know best: 1 – 10

After each name, write an ‘H’ if the person is happy, or an ‘N’ if the person is not happy. (H/N S/N) Then write an ‘S’ if the person is selfish or a ‘U’ for unselfish. Rimland in Psychological Reports (51); Brain/Mind Bulletin 1983 defines ‘selfish’ as:

“A stable tendency to devote one’s time and resources to one’s own interests and welfare – an unwillingness to inconvenience oneself for others.”

In his experimental study, the 2000 individuals who completed this exercise reported very few individuals who were both happy and selfish. The findings represent an interesting paradox.

Selfish people are, by definition, those whose activities are devoted to bringing themselves happiness. Yet at least as judged by others, these selfish people are far less likely to be happy than those whose efforts are devoted to making others happy.

So the Golden Rule in networking, as in life, is if you think about the other person rather than yourself, not only is that going to increase your empathy and rapport skills but it will make you a much more attractive person to know and be a magnet for personal happiness.

Another vital part of your networking skills is your ability to build rapport quickly and effectively with others. Successful rapport building will attract others to you and in turn attract personal happiness.

To build rapport successfully with another individual you need to understand ‘where’ they are coming from and have ‘empathy’ with them.

People often think of empathy as a mystical commodity, a special, almost uncanny ability to experience the thoughts and feelings of someone else. In fact ‘empathy’ is quite simply applied imagination and only requires a little exertion and discipline.

The next time you are sitting in a room conversing with three or more people, try this very simple activity:

Temporarily remove yourself from the conversation. Be very quiet for a few moments. Pay particular attention to the person doing the most talking.

Imagine the following things: Imagine the physical sensations the speaker is experiencing.

Mentally place yourself in that person’s body, sitting or standing in a particular position, eating the same food, drinking the same drink.

Mentally become that person. Do you feel energised? Tired? Irritated?

Imagine what kind of day the speaker has had – using all your knowledge about the speakers’ day. If you know little about the person, guess.

Continue to imagine yourself as that person. How does your day colour and affect what you are saying? Imagine the person’s relationship’s to everyone in the room – including yourself.

Continue to mentally be that person. What kind of feelings are generated by the people around you? How do they affect the things you say?

Now step back into yourself and rejoin the scene. Does your own role in the conversation feel different? Empathy, like memory is a creative act, not a mystical property and it requires imagination and practice.

It lies within the grasp of all of us.

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Some people abstain from belly laughing because they are embarrassed of their laugh. I think that was my problem. My husband told me one day at the beginning of our marriage that he did not know what my laugh sounded like. At first, I defended myself and reminded him of how many funny times we have shared and some of the jokes I have laughed at and told. He agreed that we have enjoyed lots of hilarious times, but he could only remember what my faint chuckle sounded like. He was right. For a long time I was insecure about the way my laugh sounded in public and so I stifled it. I was afraid that my voice would crack or that I would snort if I laughed too hard. I felt uncomfortable when I laughed in public because I worried everyone else would hear my laugh and think it sounded awkward compared to all the other perfect, beautiful laughs. What a ridiculous notion! When something is genuinely funny, we should laugh, not be concerned about what other people think. Do you judge other people based on the quality or quantity of their laughter? Probably not. It is unlikely that other people are paying such close attention to you during a funny moment that they are listening closely to your laugh and determining whether or not your laugh is a good one or a strange sounding one.

Another reason people are afraid to laugh out loud is because they do not want to look childish in a professional environment. It is true that children laugh more than adults. In fact, the average pre-schooler laughs and smiles about 400 times per day, however laughing will not make an employee or employer look foolish. In fact, recent research suggests that the workplace needs to lighten up, because 63% of respondents in one study said that the stress they felt at work has impacted their health and family life negatively. Many companies are actually trying to bring humor back into the corporate world, because the employers know that by incorporating fun back into the working environment, employees can maintain a sense of happiness and be more efficient with their work. So laugh a little at work, be the one who encourages others to actually take pleasure in their occupation. No one will assume you are foolish. They will just think you are trying to enjoy the time you spend at the workplace. And who knows, maybe you are just what someone else needs to feel a little more comfortable and start laughing as well.

Laughing should be part of our everyday lives. Each time we give one good, belly laugh, we burn about 3.5 calories and we release endorphins. When these endorphins are released into the body, there is an exhilarating effect similar to the effects of a hard workout. Laughing also invigorates and replenishes our cells, souls and minds by increasing our oxygen intake. A good belly laugh can also boost immunity, relieve stress and even increase our pain threshold.

So there you have it. You owe it to yourself to look for the funny moments in life and not just chuckle. Do not worry about what your laugh sounds like or what other people will think of you. Just remember the benefits to your health. Give a good old-fashioned belly laugh the next time an unexpected comical thing happens during your busy day. Like the old saying goes, “Live well, love always and laugh often.”

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We took the Underground everywhere, also known as the Tube, London’s clean and efficient rapid transit system. The Tube was great for people watching – nearly everyone looked puffy and as if they didn’t eat many fresh vegetables. There were signs posted all over that said Mind the Gap — a safety reminder for people to watch their step as they traversed from the platform to the train.

It seemed a bit more metaphysical to me.

Buddhists practice a meditation of watching the breath. It can be quite powerful to sit and observe the long inhale as it draws in, chest and lungs expanding, hopefully the abdomen and belly, too. Then to watch the long exhale, with its calming effect. When you sit with the breath long enough, you may experience an eerie sensation that you are not breathing at all — something is breathing you. In fact, it seems more accurate to say we are being “breathed.”

Osho, the great Tantra Master, however, said it’s really about watching for the gap between the outgoing and ingoing breath. It takes a little awareness but you can locate it if you slow way down, and if you look closely, you’ll notice a space between each inhale and exhale where nothing is happening. There’s a gap, a silence, a doorway to another reality. It’s like the silence between words, the white space on the page, the background murmur rather than the foreground conversation. That’s the gap, Osho said, where who you are really exists.

Another of my favorite memories of London was touring the Globe Theater, and our guide whose raucous stories split our sides with laughter. But the thing I loved most about London was these spiritual reminders appearing everywhere, all over underneath the town. Mind the Gap. Remember to find out who you really are.

© Catherine Auman 2009

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