You can be happy and not know it. Listen to Robert Thurman explain how true happiness occurs exactly when we are not even able to think about it. Check out more on Robert Thurman, Professor of Buddhist Studies, Columbia University; President, Tibet House U.S. at: http://bigthink.com/robertthurman
By Michael Redbourn
Doing A Job That You Hate Is Like Going To Prison
There are a huge number of people that really dislike their jobs and when they get up in the morning and head for their workplace, they feel like they’re going to be incarcerated for the next several hours, which in a sense they are.
Why Do People Hate Their Jobs?
By Brenda Campbell
People frequently tell me that they can not meditate, they have tried, can not do it and have given up. So they miss out on all of the benefits that meditation can bring. Learning to meditate is like learning to do anything else; you begin knowing little or nothing and practice until you can do it without thinking. Start right now, find out why meditation is worth doing and follow these five steps that will make meditation easy.
Recently I was working with a young woman who told me that she was extremely stressed and unhappy with her work. She said that she had no time to herself, no time to think and her mind raced constantly. In an average day she had information overload from the time that she woke until she went to sleep. She would rise in the morning to the television, took her iPod when she went for a walk, listened to the radio to and from work – you get the picture. Sound familiar?
To start, we found some time during the day when she had zero information flow. The TV was turned off in the morning and no radio in the car to and from work. Just quiet time to contemplate. We then moved to meditation. “Well”, she said, “I have tried that. I can’t meditate and I hate it.” Turned out she had launched into an hour long session, could only last a short while and decided it was not for her. An all too common story.
What is meditation and why bother? Meditation is a process or technique that you use to clear and calm your mind. You can use meditation just for that purpose or you can focus your meditation on something that you desire such as prosperity or well being. Meditation has been scientifically shown to be a powerful healing tool and a self help tool for achieving stress reduction and better sleep. Many people enjoy the personal development, self awareness, inner peace and freedom that results from meditation. Successful entrepreneurs often claim that meditation creates clarity of mind which in turn effects their success.
So how do you meditate? The following five steps will help you to get started:-
By Tinu AbayomiPaul
It’s not just that social media is about connecting and relationships, or that business is about relationships.
It’s not just that social media has helped to facilitate that connection across borders of distance.
Nor is it about the fact that social media can penetrate through layers of handlers to get you in touch with people you admire, those who admire you, customers and clients that do repeat business with you, or other important people you otherwise never would encounter.
It’s about that Moment.
There’s a moment when you’re getting to know someone in which they turn from someone you know in passing, to someone you want to interact with on a regular basis. If you spend enough time talking to someone, regardless of the medium, you click, or you don’t click.
By Anthony K Wilson Sr
All the ingredients for a truly awesome life are already inside of you. You only need to recognize and acknowledge the presence of all that you need and then begin the execution of putting that skill set in motion to develop the totally awesome aspect of yourself.
If you are like most people, you are probably familiar with the concept of application as it is often spoken of in school. Your teachers may have said that you could do much better if you would only apply yourself. However, there is much more to application than comments about not trying hard enough or not doing enough and it is much more positive!
Application means that you have everything you need for a happy, fulfilling, successful life. While there are many things ahead to learn, you may be pleasantly surprised to find how much you already have, as well as how easy it actually is to put all of your special gifts to good use.
As an individual person, you have two different types of gifts. As a member of the human race, you have all of the same gifts as every other person. You were created with intelligence, emotions, common sense, the desire to do well, and a number of others. In addition, you also have gifts which are completely unique to you. You have special talents and abilities which no one else has in the exact same manner. You have much to offer to the world, and much to look forward to in your own life.
Application will help you to do the most for yourself, the people you care for, and the world in which you live. When you look at all of your gifts and talents, all it takes is the motivation to apply them on a regular basis. No matter how young you may be today, you have so much to contribute.
When you make application a part of your everyday life, it will result in a double-benefit. You will be making your life the very best that it can be. Instead of simply looking toward success, you can be taking step after step to excel. You will also be doing your part to make the world a better place, because no one has exactly what you have. No one can contribute in the same way that you can. Application can make a wonderful difference in your world and in your life!
Anthony is an accomplished writer, author, painter, sculptor, artist, entrepreneur, and motivational speaker; he is driven and committed to assist everyone he encounters in understanding and fulfilling their creative life purpose. Anthony K. Wilson, Sr. is the owner of http://create-sun.com
Copyright © 2009 Margaret Stead
The ‘Golden Rule’ occurred in the Greek and Chinese cultures thousands of years before the Christian era: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” The spirit of the Golden Rule is one of generosity and altruism and is at the heart of any personal networking and ‘right’ living. Ralph Waldo Emerson said ‘To have a friend, you have to be one’, and his words are as true today as they ever were.
You can test this out yourself by completing the following simple exercise:
List ten people you know best: 1 – 10
After each name, write an ‘H’ if the person is happy, or an ‘N’ if the person is not happy. (H/N S/N) Then write an ‘S’ if the person is selfish or a ‘U’ for unselfish. Rimland in Psychological Reports (51); Brain/Mind Bulletin 1983 defines ‘selfish’ as:
“A stable tendency to devote one’s time and resources to one’s own interests and welfare – an unwillingness to inconvenience oneself for others.”
In his experimental study, the 2000 individuals who completed this exercise reported very few individuals who were both happy and selfish. The findings represent an interesting paradox.
Selfish people are, by definition, those whose activities are devoted to bringing themselves happiness. Yet at least as judged by others, these selfish people are far less likely to be happy than those whose efforts are devoted to making others happy.
So the Golden Rule in networking, as in life, is if you think about the other person rather than yourself, not only is that going to increase your empathy and rapport skills but it will make you a much more attractive person to know and be a magnet for personal happiness.
Another vital part of your networking skills is your ability to build rapport quickly and effectively with others. Successful rapport building will attract others to you and in turn attract personal happiness.
To build rapport successfully with another individual you need to understand ‘where’ they are coming from and have ‘empathy’ with them.
People often think of empathy as a mystical commodity, a special, almost uncanny ability to experience the thoughts and feelings of someone else. In fact ‘empathy’ is quite simply applied imagination and only requires a little exertion and discipline.
The next time you are sitting in a room conversing with three or more people, try this very simple activity:
Temporarily remove yourself from the conversation. Be very quiet for a few moments. Pay particular attention to the person doing the most talking.
Imagine the following things: Imagine the physical sensations the speaker is experiencing.
Mentally place yourself in that person’s body, sitting or standing in a particular position, eating the same food, drinking the same drink.
Mentally become that person. Do you feel energised? Tired? Irritated?
Imagine what kind of day the speaker has had – using all your knowledge about the speakers’ day. If you know little about the person, guess.
Continue to imagine yourself as that person. How does your day colour and affect what you are saying? Imagine the person’s relationship’s to everyone in the room – including yourself.
Continue to mentally be that person. What kind of feelings are generated by the people around you? How do they affect the things you say?
Now step back into yourself and rejoin the scene. Does your own role in the conversation feel different? Empathy, like memory is a creative act, not a mystical property and it requires imagination and practice.
It lies within the grasp of all of us.
At first glance this title may just confuse those who already think they know what laughing is and how to do it. What many people do not realize is that there is a big difference between casually giggling at a silly joke and thoroughly enjoying and taking the time to really laugh during moments that are just too hysterical to pass by. I like to call this sort of laugh, the sort of laugh that comes from deep down, a “Belly Laugh.” The sound of such a laugh is hard to describe, because everyone has their own unique laugh, but you know it when you hear it and you feel it when you do it. Belly laughs start from the core and can shake your body for as much as 15 minutes, however the effects of it stay with you and keep you feeling happy the rest of the day. In our fast paced society, it is sometimes considered a waste of time to laugh. There are many reasons people these days do not laugh as much as they used to. Some people are insecure about their laughing habits, or afraid to look too childish, but the fact of the matter remains the same, laughing is good for your health.
Some people abstain from belly laughing because they are embarrassed of their laugh. I think that was my problem. My husband told me one day at the beginning of our marriage that he did not know what my laugh sounded like. At first, I defended myself and reminded him of how many funny times we have shared and some of the jokes I have laughed at and told. He agreed that we have enjoyed lots of hilarious times, but he could only remember what my faint chuckle sounded like. He was right. For a long time I was insecure about the way my laugh sounded in public and so I stifled it. I was afraid that my voice would crack or that I would snort if I laughed too hard. I felt uncomfortable when I laughed in public because I worried everyone else would hear my laugh and think it sounded awkward compared to all the other perfect, beautiful laughs. What a ridiculous notion! When something is genuinely funny, we should laugh, not be concerned about what other people think. Do you judge other people based on the quality or quantity of their laughter? Probably not. It is unlikely that other people are paying such close attention to you during a funny moment that they are listening closely to your laugh and determining whether or not your laugh is a good one or a strange sounding one.
Another reason people are afraid to laugh out loud is because they do not want to look childish in a professional environment. It is true that children laugh more than adults. In fact, the average pre-schooler laughs and smiles about 400 times per day, however laughing will not make an employee or employer look foolish. In fact, recent research suggests that the workplace needs to lighten up, because 63% of respondents in one study said that the stress they felt at work has impacted their health and family life negatively. Many companies are actually trying to bring humor back into the corporate world, because the employers know that by incorporating fun back into the working environment, employees can maintain a sense of happiness and be more efficient with their work. So laugh a little at work, be the one who encourages others to actually take pleasure in their occupation. No one will assume you are foolish. They will just think you are trying to enjoy the time you spend at the workplace. And who knows, maybe you are just what someone else needs to feel a little more comfortable and start laughing as well.
Laughing should be part of our everyday lives. Each time we give one good, belly laugh, we burn about 3.5 calories and we release endorphins. When these endorphins are released into the body, there is an exhilarating effect similar to the effects of a hard workout. Laughing also invigorates and replenishes our cells, souls and minds by increasing our oxygen intake. A good belly laugh can also boost immunity, relieve stress and even increase our pain threshold.
So there you have it. You owe it to yourself to look for the funny moments in life and not just chuckle. Do not worry about what your laugh sounds like or what other people will think of you. Just remember the benefits to your health. Give a good old-fashioned belly laugh the next time an unexpected comical thing happens during your busy day. Like the old saying goes, “Live well, love always and laugh often.”
We took the Underground everywhere, also known as the Tube, London’s clean and efficient rapid transit system. The Tube was great for people watching – nearly everyone looked puffy and as if they didn’t eat many fresh vegetables. There were signs posted all over that said Mind the Gap — a safety reminder for people to watch their step as they traversed from the platform to the train.
It seemed a bit more metaphysical to me.
Buddhists practice a meditation of watching the breath. It can be quite powerful to sit and observe the long inhale as it draws in, chest and lungs expanding, hopefully the abdomen and belly, too. Then to watch the long exhale, with its calming effect. When you sit with the breath long enough, you may experience an eerie sensation that you are not breathing at all — something is breathing you. In fact, it seems more accurate to say we are being “breathed.”
Osho, the great Tantra Master, however, said it’s really about watching for the gap between the outgoing and ingoing breath. It takes a little awareness but you can locate it if you slow way down, and if you look closely, you’ll notice a space between each inhale and exhale where nothing is happening. There’s a gap, a silence, a doorway to another reality. It’s like the silence between words, the white space on the page, the background murmur rather than the foreground conversation. That’s the gap, Osho said, where who you are really exists.
Another of my favorite memories of London was touring the Globe Theater, and our guide whose raucous stories split our sides with laughter. But the thing I loved most about London was these spiritual reminders appearing everywhere, all over underneath the town. Mind the Gap. Remember to find out who you really are.
© Catherine Auman 2009
I know that people are constantly striving to get more out of life. I know that many people wish for, hope for, want for more success, more happiness, more wealth. But wishing, hoping and wanting something is simply a useless mental activity – a waste of energy – because the only thing that will get you what you want is beyond wishing, hoping and wanting – it’s believing. More of that later! For now, if you really look around and observe the behaviour of so-called normal people, you will discover what normal people really want – they want you to be normal too.There is nothing more threatening to the normal state of mind than someone who’s different – in particular, someone who is abnormally happy and successful. It’s not so much that normal people are jealous of abnormal success – they actually want to take the abnormally successful person down.
One of the biggest issues that my clients have to face following my two-day personal development workshop is that, even though they have learned to become abnormal, even though they have learned (from a vast array of research stretching back over seventy years) that so-called normal people are actually totally and completely mad, when they venture back out into the ordinary, everyday so-called real world, almost everyone the encounter will be normal – will be insane.
A brief aside – because stating that normal people are insane requires an explanation! Here are some quick facts. About 96% of us are normal – we behave according to and conform to a variety of behavioural and social norms. Normal people control about 1% of their mind – in other words, they are only capable of paying 1% attention to what is going on in the present moment. Normal people’s reactions and behaviours are automatically created by their subconscious minds which were programmed through snapshot learning during their formative years. In other words, the subconscious mind controls the normal person – not the other way around. If you’re not in control of your own mind, surely that’s a definition of madness!
There’s more – societal norms tell us that we must work hard to be a success, that there are many outstanding things in life that only outstanding people can achieve – not normal people. Research proves that normal people only see what they expect to see, only perceive what they expect to perceive. In other words, normal people wander through life with their eyes closed, their senses dimmed, their life confined to the box created for them by their key influences during their childhood years and by a society that needs normal people to conform – whether that’s a society driven by organised religion, the nation state or global corporate interests is a debate for some other day).
Back to my point – normal people want you to be normal. A client emailed me a couple of days ago saying that he had no problem opening, clearing and focusing his mind each morning – in preparation for the opportunities that every day holds for all of us. But, then, he’d get into work and be assaulted by normal people. People wanting to gossip (one of the greatest draws on our precious mental energy), people looking for a fight (“I deserve promotion”, “Someone’s getting involved where they shouldn’t be”, etc.) – and then he arrives home and is confronted by his teenage children – and, having three teenagers myself, it can often be difficult to remain calm, focused and effective!! All these everyday scenarios drag the calmest of minds into the dirt so that we end up reacting automatically all over again – and when did reacting make anything better!?!
You need to stop being normal – and, if you’ve started on the path towards being abnormal, you need to protect yourself against all those normal people who, unwittingly granted, was to drag you into their little dramas – want more of your attention, want you to make them feel important or better.
Why take the path that leads towards abnormality? Well, for starters, given my albeit very brief description of the normal mental state, do you really want to be normal? But, more to the point, you need to realise certain truths borne out by all the research that I’ve already mentioned. Anyone – and that includes you – can achieve the extra-ordinary and the exceptional. Anyone – and that, again, includes you, can achieve effortless happiness and success. You do not need to work hard to be a success. You need commitment, vision and belief – if you’ve got those, no work is difficult, no effort a strain.
The commitment you need is to your own state of mind. You need to cultivate and develop a clear, present and focused state of mind – a state of mind that is completely at odds with the normal cluttered, distracted mindlessness of normality. You need to commit to developing your ability to pay attention – not to your goals and dreams, but to the only time and place we have – the here and now. That means you pay more than 1% attention – that means you’re already exceptional.
You need to believe. Believing is not wishing, hoping or wanting. Believing is seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling and tasting the success you want, as if you already have it. Those five senses that you rarely pay attention to are the very tools by which you can enable yourself believe and, more importantly, the only tools you have at your disposal to pay attention to the here and now – to be present, to be “all there”, rather than “all over the place”.
Don’t want what normal people want – believe in the extra-ordinary.
Copyright © 2009 Willie Horton