How does one self-motivate? Are there two parts of us – one that is the motivator and the other which needs to be motivated? Why does research suggests that most so-called “normal” people do not achieve their goals, dreams and ambitions? Why do the majority of people continue to do work that they dislike? Why does the World Health Organization believe that stress will be such a big 21st. Century killer? If you’re “normal” and you’re worried and stressed, feeling unfulfilled at work, how can you actually motivate yourself? And what would you be motivating yourself for? Why bother?

Lots of questions – but they all boil down to the key issue of the extent to which we need to be motivated – and that most of us are not! Even many of my own clients, who should know better, who own their own businesses and whose future is so much more in their own hands than the normal employee, tell me that they’re de-motivated, that they go into work knowing the key things that they have to do and yet they waste their time on doing things that they either shouldn’t be doing, or things that are downright destructive (like worrying about where new business will come from, like getting involved in the downward spiral of gossip about the economic environment, like gossiping about their competitors) – things that lead them away from their hopes and dreams. As a result, they end up more de-motivated than ever.

But back to that one key issue – the need for self-motivation and, in particular, one of my very first questions above – who is doing the motivating and who needs to be motivated.

Everyone needs to get a kick out of life – if at all possible, every day. Years of psychological and market research that most people only rarely experience any high in their lives and that, generally, it is short lived. As a result, the majority of us, so-called normal people, trudge through our regular routines wishing for and hoping for our next high – whether that’s looking forward to the weekend, the next night out or holiday. But in our ordinary everyday routine lives we are less than happy – less than fully motivated.

The truth is that there are two parts of us – our inner pure energy and our personality – and these two internal elements are locked in battle. As a result, we strive for, hope for, wish for a better life, more success and happiness, but we actually trip ourselves up in the pursuit of our hopes and dreams. It is our personality – the part of us with which we are all so familiar – that holds us back, that stops us being fully motivated, that disables our true inner abilities to achieve great things, to live our ordinary lives extraordinarily. As I said, we’re all very familiar with our personality – our strengths, our faults and our failings.

However, when my clients explore their self-perceptions, many of them find that they can actually recollect the first time in their lives when they actually felt a particular – perhaps of inadequacy, self-doubt, anxiety, fear, even self-loathing. That is because our current self-perceptions that make up our personality are merely a compilation of the events that stand out in our subconscious mind from our formative years, our childhood. Many years work indicates that we perceive ourselves to be who we think we are based on a series of “snapshots” taken whilst we were young and impressionable. In addition, years of research indicates that normal people are pre-disposed to being negative – both about themselves and their chances of success.

Add all this together and you will realise that the perceived you – your personality – is a phantom-like creation of your subconscious mind. As it is created from events that most impressed you during your formative years, your personality simply could not be the real you. However, your personality feels very real – your self-doubts, your perceived inadequacies all manifest themselves in your daily life, in your behaviour and in what you get out of life. That is why you need to be motivated – and the bizarre thing is that the part of you that needs motivation (your personality) is the very same part of you that is preventing you being all that you can potentially be.

You need to stop pandering to your personality. Ignore it (it might eventually go away!). By-pass it by focussing your attention in the here and now. In doing so, your subconscious mind’s obsession with your personality will begin to be broken. In focusing in the here and now, you will be less likely to waste your energy on the old, useless, self-defeating thoughts that regularly distract our minds from the task in hand, making the task in hand more difficult or frustrating. In paying attention to the present moment, in engrossing yourself in whatever you’re doing, you will be better at it, more absorbed, more effective, efficient, more likely to get the key things done that will lead you towards living that ordinary everyday life – extra-ordinarily.

Recent research indicates that our ability to be happy and successful is correlated to our ability to pay attention to the here and now. It has nothing to do with self-motivation – because self-motivation involves pandering to a part of you that isn’t really there, your personality. Get over yourself, get on with the present moment – your true ability to achieve your dreams and desires will then emerge – effortlessly.

Copyright © 2009 Willie Horton