You know how one year, everyone knows you need an M.B.A. to succeed at anything, and then the next, they’re saying that there are no jobs out there anyway, so don’t even try.

Learning that the unfamiliar isn’t to be feared is almost never easy. Just try something new and slightly scary. Catch yourself off-guard and see what happens.

Yet, you can learn to turn a sudden shift in your life to your advantage. You might shake up a lot of people, especially the ones who aren’t happy with how they’re living. But it can be a real chance to turn your life around, by exploring what it is that you really like.

Here are some tricks of how to start to do just that.

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I’ve done the same thing. I’ve invested more money than I care to admit to learn how to grow my business. And, I grew my business to a point that many would consider incredibly successful. But, what I didn’t realize is that I was growing the business on a cracked foundation. Why? Because I listened to others more than I listened to myself. I tried to model others, more than I created a unique model that worked for me. I did what I thought I should do rather than what was 100% right for me and my life. I allowed some of my decisions to be made from my ego, rather than my heart.

You may find this ironic to hear from the woman who is known for her authenticity and for being a pioneer in conscious entrepreneurship. It surprised me, too, when with the help of my spiritual teacher I looked more closely at the business I had created and saw many things about it (and myself) that needed to shift.

What scared me the most, when I realized I hadn’t been listening to my SELF, is how many other people this is happening to. I teach about conscious entrepreneurship, I make it a discipline to be awake and aware to what’s really happening in my business. I focus on the conscious journey I’m on. And, yet I was asleep in some ways. I felt such compassion for myself that I hadn’t truly listened to the depths of my soul and what it was saying to me, and I felt compassion for all entrepreneurs who are asleep in some way in their business.

So, I’ve been on a journey of learning to listen to myself at a deeper level. And, I invite you to join me on this journey, too. I want to share four of the ways I’ve been deepening my ability to listen to my self. And, conveniently, they spell S.E.L.F…

Silence In a world filled with noise, noise and more noise… silence truly is golden. As entrepreneurs, we’re overwhelmed by email, phone calls, TV, radio, social media, blogs, teleclasses, a long “to do” list, etc. And, it’s all draws your focus to the external. Yet, in order to succeed as a happy, fulfilled, successful conscious entrepreneur your focus needs to be inside of yourself. Silence is how this happens. So, today, please take five minutes to sit in silence. Breathe deeply and tune into your internal world. Enjoy the silence and time to simply be with yourself.

Evaluation Rather than rushing from one thing to another, chasing creative ideas as quickly as they arrive, allow yourself to evaluate everything. With each step you take in your business, be conscious about what’s happening. Does it feel right? Is it working? Is it fun and easy? Did you say “yes” when you wanted to say “no”? Is it worth it? Is it profitable? Too often, entrepreneurs get so excited about what’s next, that they move forward too fast and say “yes” too often. The biggest gift you can give yourself is to honestly evaluate what you’ve done and what you want to do to make sure it is completely aligned with you, your business and your life.

Listening Listening piggy backs on silence. Once you turn your focus inward to be present with your own beautiful being, it’s the perfect time and space in which to listen to your heart. For entrepreneurs, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the external world of money, success models, marketing, networking, creating, etc. But, none of the external aspects of your business will come together with grace if you don’t take time to listen to what’s TRUE for you.

Focus on Freedom Every decision you make in your business needs to bring you closer to Freedom! And not only financial freedom; but freedom in every area of your life. If you make a decision in your business that robs you of a freedom you want in your life, it’s not the right decision to make. Focusing exclusively on financial freedom can lead to overwhelm, confusion, exhaustion and frustration. When you focus on freedom on every level… financial, spiritual, physical and emotional… you will be guided to make the right decisions for your self.

I encourage you to write these four principles on a sticky note or index card right now and place it somewhere near your computer. Use it as a reminder to be silent, evaluate, listen and focus on freedom as you travel the path of conscious entrepreneurship.

Copyright © 2009 Christine Kloser

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If you are wanting to live your life uniquely, your own way, doing what you are here to do, you will need to take a good look at what is influencing you day in and day out. Your family, friends, groups and society all can influence your life usually beyond your awareness. Most people operate within what is considered normal in our society. People tend to go away from discomfort and pain, seeking comfort however they can, which usually means not wanting to feel the wrath of disapproval for doing something out of the ordinary.

The fact that most people are influenced greatly by others keeps them living a life where they are striving to feel good and be happy, but in ways that don’t bring long lasting results of either. If you are influenced to behave like the masses by the masses, what has happened to your unique inner drive? It is sniffled because it does not fit into the norm, and you have allowed yourself to go the more comfortable route, keeping in alignment with those around you.

There is something we are each intended to do, and we get thoughts and feelings about this, but usually cover it up. We think it can’t be done, because it doesn’t look like the life we are now living. The life we have fallen into by listening to and watching the masses rather than our heart and inner guidance is not usually close to our passion and purpose.

Our true deep happiness and satisfaction comes when we are on a mission to do what we ought to do, not from the superficial short term feel good activities we follow others in doing. Most people are seeking comfort and happiness, yet are griping about what they have to do. You will not be happy with what you do until it has deep meaning to you. When you have something more powerful than your fear of feeling bad by going against the crowd, you will do so. The deep drive that people get to forge ahead in the face of all the naysayers comes from within.

When you truly believe in yourself and trust your thinking, you will be able to break the bonds of mass influence. This takes a knowing that you have a purpose and that you receive inner guidance with respect to what you ought to be doing to fulfill this purpose. You know, that little voice you hear sometimes, not the voice of your ego, the other voice – the one that steers you in the right direction. You know that your inner wisdom is far superior to the perspective of the masses when it comes to what you are being guided to do.

If you are not sure which voice is which, you should learn to separate them, there is a huge difference in what they are telling you! When you know what your inner, intuitive voice is, you will find that you are quite clearly guided. Now, your ego mind may still poo-poo this message or argue with it, but who is in command – you, your conscious mind. You choose what to do with any and all thoughts. You can choose to allow them or change them, even the unconscious ones.

The many people we now generally look up to for sticking with their unique ideas throughout history are a good example of people who chose to go their own way and not to allow the opinions of others to influence their direction. What happens mentally, is that the satisfaction of the journey you are on trumps the good feelings you could enjoy with going along with everybody else. Even their resistance just rolls off of you. When you believe in yourself and what you are doing, your self-esteem is high and can’t be touched by the words and actions of others.

Now, what is your influence? Now your inner guidance is your primary influence. You of course can choose to be influenced by other people, but you become more selective as to who and why. US President Abraham Lincoln chose not to be influenced by the voices around him, basketball great Michael Jordan chose not to be influenced by the coach who cut him from the team in high school, many a scientist chose not to be influenced by the common accepted knowledge of the day, and those who vehemently supported it.

The key is this, to find your why, your core desires, your purpose behind what you want to do. Then you will become more selective to what you allow to influence you. You will not need the comfort of belonging and being accepted by others, your inspired journey will bring you plenty of satisfaction and true comfort. When you feel good about yourself and what you are doing, you don’t need as much outside comforting.

Even before you clearly know what you want to do, it is a good idea to begin to look at who and what has been influencing your life. You can begin in general, choose what to allow and accept. Ask this simple question, when looking at the people you are around, what you do and how you think. “does this support the life I really want?” When you do this for a while you will see that usually the answers are very clearly yes or no. As you pay attention, you will find there are fewer gray areas.

Also helpful are exercises where you write down what interests you, what gets you emotionally excited. This can lead you to what is really important to you and what you are deeply motivated about. You will begin to see that as you get more self motivated, the things that you had allowed to automatically influence you, hold less power.

Learning what to allow to influence you comes out of learning more about yourself, what you are deeply passionate about, and what you are truly capable of. Learning to ‘hear’ your inner guidance directing you with what to do and how to do it. At some point you get to where you know it’s possible, then, that it’s done – you just will be going through the motions to do what you are guided to do. That which is outside of you is no longer a factor with what you can do.

It starts with choosing to take conscious command of your life, your thinking. To be at cause rather than be subject to any and all who want to influence you. People in your life and society can be strong forces until you know for yourself who you are and what you should be doing.

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All the ingredients for a truly awesome life are already inside of you. You only need to recognize and acknowledge the presence of all that you need and then begin the execution of putting that skill set in motion to develop the totally awesome aspect of yourself.

If you are like most people, you are probably familiar with the concept of application as it is often spoken of in school. Your teachers may have said that you could do much better if you would only apply yourself. However, there is much more to application than comments about not trying hard enough or not doing enough and it is much more positive!

Application means that you have everything you need for a happy, fulfilling, successful life. While there are many things ahead to learn, you may be pleasantly surprised to find how much you already have, as well as how easy it actually is to put all of your special gifts to good use.

As an individual person, you have two different types of gifts. As a member of the human race, you have all of the same gifts as every other person. You were created with intelligence, emotions, common sense, the desire to do well, and a number of others. In addition, you also have gifts which are completely unique to you. You have special talents and abilities which no one else has in the exact same manner. You have much to offer to the world, and much to look forward to in your own life.

Application will help you to do the most for yourself, the people you care for, and the world in which you live. When you look at all of your gifts and talents, all it takes is the motivation to apply them on a regular basis. No matter how young you may be today, you have so much to contribute.

When you make application a part of your everyday life, it will result in a double-benefit. You will be making your life the very best that it can be. Instead of simply looking toward success, you can be taking step after step to excel. You will also be doing your part to make the world a better place, because no one has exactly what you have. No one can contribute in the same way that you can. Application can make a wonderful difference in your world and in your life!

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Let me explain. I first met Billy three years ago. At the time, he was seriously stressed about his job, he suffered from chronic lower back pain, was constantly tired and, as a result, his home life was, to say the very least, less than satisfactory. More recently, Billy spent three days with me in my part of the world, the French Alps. It was the fourth time we’d worked together in three years. In those three years, he’d been promoted to what would potentially be an even more stressful job – right at the very top of his organization. His back problems had vanished and, in fact, he told me he could now do thirty minutes on his local gym’s rowing machine, a couple of times a week – beforehand, he couldn’t even bend down to sit on the rowing machine. He’d also just booked a three week holiday for himself and his family, having spent ten days on holiday at Easter – he, his wife and children were having a great time.

When we first met, I had explained to Billy that the normal adult mind is in constant turmoil – it is “entertained” by roughly 50,000 random thoughts each day. You know the kind of useless stuff – “I wish this guy would hurry up or I’ll be late for my next meeting!” “I wish I was on the beach, instead of the office, it’s such a lovely day!” “I don’t know if I unplugged the toaster!” “I really am too shy to walk up to that guy and say what I feel!” And, the ones that wake you at four o’clock in the morning “What if I don’t get that sale, will I be out of a job, will I lose my house, what will happen the kids?” (‘Cos the ones at four o’clock in the morning often take us on a train of thought to imaginary ruin – more like an express train to hell!).

I also explained that Billy’s subconscious mind was even more distracted – it’s just that, because it’s subconscious, he’d never be aware of the fact that, like all normal adults, his subconscious mind was incapable of paying attention to the here and now, the task in hand, obsessed, as it was, by his childhood conditioning, the snapshots of his formative years which all normal minds dwell on subconsciously. As a result, it was little wonder that he was stressed – the World Health Organization believes stress will be the biggest killer of the 21st century. It was little wonder that he’d been crucified by lower back pain for years – your mental state is at the root of most, if not all, physical illness. And, certainly, you wouldn’t have to be a genius to work out why his home life was spinning out of control.

But Billy not only understood, as most of my clients do, the importance of changing his mind – he actually put it into daily practice – hence, the results that he could so excitedly tell me about. Billy and I worked together to enable him stop the random noise in his head, to enable him calm his mind. Most importantly, Billy practiced and learned how to pay more of his attention to the here and now, dragging his subconscious mind’s attention away from the past and enabling him be more focused on the task in hand. Billy understood that, when you’re more present, you have more presence and that makes you more impressive to the normal people around you. As a result, he’d been handpicked for his new corporate role – without even realising that he might have been in the running – he was more focused on doing just what he was supposed to be doing.

In short, Billy learned how to meditate. And it made such a practical difference in his life that he committed not just to doing it every day – but to doing it for one hour solid every morning. He told me that he realised that if he wanted to change his life, he needed to change his daily life first – get up at six o’clock instead of seven – go to bed at ten o’clock instead of eleven.

If you’re not the success you want to be, your life is not going to change without you doing something practical about it. If your life doesn’t turn you on, you’re doing something wrong – you’re going to have to do something right instead. You’re going to have to find a way to turn yourself on – to focus your attention in the here and now – so that you will stop paying attention to useless thought and so that your subconscious will stop tripping up your today by focusing on your yesterdays. Your success – your effortless success – is entirely within your own control – but you’re going to have to act.

Copyright © 2009 Willie Horton

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The ‘Golden Rule’ occurred in the Greek and Chinese cultures thousands of years before the Christian era: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” The spirit of the Golden Rule is one of generosity and altruism and is at the heart of any personal networking and ‘right’ living. Ralph Waldo Emerson said ‘To have a friend, you have to be one’, and his words are as true today as they ever were.

You can test this out yourself by completing the following simple exercise:

List ten people you know best: 1 – 10

After each name, write an ‘H’ if the person is happy, or an ‘N’ if the person is not happy. (H/N S/N) Then write an ‘S’ if the person is selfish or a ‘U’ for unselfish. Rimland in Psychological Reports (51); Brain/Mind Bulletin 1983 defines ‘selfish’ as:

“A stable tendency to devote one’s time and resources to one’s own interests and welfare – an unwillingness to inconvenience oneself for others.”

In his experimental study, the 2000 individuals who completed this exercise reported very few individuals who were both happy and selfish. The findings represent an interesting paradox.

Selfish people are, by definition, those whose activities are devoted to bringing themselves happiness. Yet at least as judged by others, these selfish people are far less likely to be happy than those whose efforts are devoted to making others happy.

So the Golden Rule in networking, as in life, is if you think about the other person rather than yourself, not only is that going to increase your empathy and rapport skills but it will make you a much more attractive person to know and be a magnet for personal happiness.

Another vital part of your networking skills is your ability to build rapport quickly and effectively with others. Successful rapport building will attract others to you and in turn attract personal happiness.

To build rapport successfully with another individual you need to understand ‘where’ they are coming from and have ‘empathy’ with them.

People often think of empathy as a mystical commodity, a special, almost uncanny ability to experience the thoughts and feelings of someone else. In fact ‘empathy’ is quite simply applied imagination and only requires a little exertion and discipline.

The next time you are sitting in a room conversing with three or more people, try this very simple activity:

Temporarily remove yourself from the conversation. Be very quiet for a few moments. Pay particular attention to the person doing the most talking.

Imagine the following things: Imagine the physical sensations the speaker is experiencing.

Mentally place yourself in that person’s body, sitting or standing in a particular position, eating the same food, drinking the same drink.

Mentally become that person. Do you feel energised? Tired? Irritated?

Imagine what kind of day the speaker has had – using all your knowledge about the speakers’ day. If you know little about the person, guess.

Continue to imagine yourself as that person. How does your day colour and affect what you are saying? Imagine the person’s relationship’s to everyone in the room – including yourself.

Continue to mentally be that person. What kind of feelings are generated by the people around you? How do they affect the things you say?

Now step back into yourself and rejoin the scene. Does your own role in the conversation feel different? Empathy, like memory is a creative act, not a mystical property and it requires imagination and practice.

It lies within the grasp of all of us.

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Many people honor the Ten Commandments and try to live by them. The belief is that a long, long time ago, God gifted us with these guidelines. In this more complex world, we can use twelve more to steer us in positive personal and global ways.

The following are my ideas for the next Twelve Commandments. To be consistent with the first ten, I started with “Thou Shalt.” However, if you have a problem with that, just read the rest of the sentence. Your hearts will probably resonate with these positive courses of action that help create peace and joy.

1. Thou Shalt Be Free to Be Thy Unique Self.

When we are being and expressing who we are, we feel happy and fulfilled. This means exploring our interests, desires, skills and talents and deciding what is right for us. Effective parents help us have high self-esteem, inspire us to be who we are and then support us to live our unique lives, just like mother birds encourage their babies to fly from the nest when they can.

2. Thou Shalt Speak Thy Truth In A Loving Way.

It is more important how we say something than what we say. When we begin our communication with “I” we take responsibility for what we are saying. Speaking from our hearts with kind words is very powerful, because people can hear us and feel good about what we are saying.

3. Thou Shalt Focus On Being Kind and Loving.

Positive words and actions are contagious. Be the person you want others to be. If you want your partner, children and others to be kind and loving then act that way with them.

4. Thou Shalt Allow Thyself Abundance and Share.

Prosperity is your birthright and you deserve abundance. There is a belief that the more you give, the more you receive. It also feels so good to give to others unconditionally.

5. Thou Shalt Forgive Thyself and Others.

Revenge and holding grudges will hurt you. Accept that we are all human beings, hopefully learning from our mistakes. It is very healing to forgive others and yourself.

6. Thou Shalt Seek Win-Win Solutions.

If both parties are not okay with the solution, then, it will not be effective. No one likes to lose. It is best if all parties involved feel heard, considered and okay with the decisions.

7. Thou Shalt Respect All People’s Beliefs.

Everyone is entitled to their beliefs. When we honor them, we have more peace and harmony. Be open to accept other people’s opinions. You do not have to understand everyone’s beliefs, but it is important to respect them.

8. Thou Shalt Accept Everyone As Global Family.

We are all human and have the same basic emotional and physical needs. When we accept everyone as our brothers and sisters, we will live in a wonderful, peaceful world.

9. Thou Shalt Honor and Take Care of Mother Earth.

Planet Earth is our home. If we devastate it, we will also destroy ourselves. To truly live a healthy life, we need a healthy earth that is kept clean and considered in everything we do.

10. Thou Shalt Balance Thy Life Between Work and Play.

In order to be healthy and happy, we need to balance our lives. We are actually even more effective and efficient when we take the time to play and rejuvenate.

11. Thou Shalt Be Healthy, Happy and Fulfilled.

We are not here to struggle and suffer. It takes healthy, happy people to make a healthy, happy family, neighborhood, city, state, country and world.

12. Thou Shalt Live in Love, Joy, Peace and Harmony.

I believe that our God Beings, whoever and whatever that is for us, wants us to live in love, joy, peace and harmony. We are a microcosm for the macrocosm of the world. If we all choose to live this way, we will create a loving, peaceful world.

Living from the 22 commandments can help us all live better lives and enjoy peace on earth. Each one of us has the power to make a difference. These guidelines can help you create the joyful life and world you desire. Go for it!

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Then just yesterday morning, I received my daily email from the Abraham-Hicks Foundation. OK, LOVE them.

It said:

“We would demonstrate to everyone that we are cheerful, that we are optimistic, that we are happy, that we are looking for the best-feeling thought that we can find – and that we’ve practiced it so much that we often find it. And then, as people say to you, in accusing tones, “Oh, you are a Pollyanna,” announce to them, “Pollyanna lived a very happy life.”

So, of course I had to rush and Google Pollyanna to find the whole scoop. She was sounding like my kind of girl for sure.

As many of you know (or may not know), Pollyanna is a character from a best selling novel written in 1913. Her philosophy of life centers on what she calls “The Glad Game”, an optimistic attitude she learned from her Dad.

Basically, the game consists of finding something to be glad about in every situation. One Christmas when Pollyanna was hoping for a doll, she received a pair of crutches, so her father made up the game up on the spot and taught her to look at the good side of things. In this case it was to be glad about the crutches because, as her Dad said, “We don’t need ‘em!”

Of course this attitude is put to the test throughout the story by her “not so enthusiastic” Aunt who creates scenarios to break Pollyanna of her optimism and smile. It does not work.

However, Pollyanna is put through the ultimate ringer when she is hit by a car and told she would not walk again.

Suddenly, she could not find anything to be glad about. Meanwhile, many town members began calling Pollyanna’s Aunt to tell her how much encouragement they received from little Pollyanna and how it improved their lives.

This snaps Pollyanna out of it and she reminds herself how glad she is to have legs. And as a result of being temporarily disabled, Pollyanna appreciated her legs even more when she learned to walk again.

Yeah, I would say now that being called a Pollyanna is a compliment. Anyone willing to truly find the good in every situation is a real hero to me.

The world can appear a very cruel place at times, with unexplainable events and circumstances that arise.

Placing ourselves in the awareness of appreciation and finding the good in situations is as easy as a shift in perception yet feels as hard as moving a mountain at times.

Come back to that “What’s Right” list we have spoken about.

Use it. Practice actually being in the space of seeing more good and what’s right in your life.

“When you look for the bad expecting it, you will find it.”

I think it’s OK to see the good and the rainbows.

Be kind to yourself and others.

Photo: woodsy

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