You can be happy and not know it. Listen to Robert Thurman explain how true happiness occurs exactly when we are not even able to think about it. Check out more on Robert Thurman, Professor of Buddhist Studies, Columbia University; President, Tibet House U.S. at: http://bigthink.com/robertthurman
And then all of a sudden, it reveals itself that happiness can only be achieved by connecting with the world. I would like to share my experience with this. You casee the beauty sink in once you take the time.
Then all of a sudden it becomes easy for the brain to weigh emotion and experimental evidence. You don’t have to like it, but a mirror can stop us from being so unbelievably disrespectful. (Applause.) Thank you very much. It’s just that in the middle of suppression, genius is often born. (Applause.) Thank you very much. This shows that happiness is to go along where life takes you. And all of a sudden, the world is full of French flying monks. (Laughter.) Thank you very much. You know, you need surprises. How many of you would not agree? I believe that a mirror in the back does not make you a megahero. Fortunately, you don’t have to be one, because happiness does not imply to constantly feel happy.
Ah, and I will also give you something on Lies, damned lies and statistics (about TEDTalks).
It’s just that in the middle of a brilliantly tongue-in-cheek analysis from last week’s featured talks on TED.com, Sebastian Wernicke uses some beautiful, inspiring and fascinating tools and data from statistical analysis on TEDTalks, the same way that you look at the emotions, strategies and choices and that you use and make every day.
And you don’t have to, but you can read more on this at tedPAD.
Money is the solution to all your problems. If only you had a million dollars – life would be bearable, interesting, enjoyable, maybe exhilarating. With every waking breadth you concede money, money, money is the answer to your prayers. Well is it?
As the concept of money evolved over the millennia – substituting agreements of value for things – money became a substitute for power. The words: “money”, “power”, “property” have evolved as a series of surrogates: with power the primordial desire, and survival in a material world the paramount quest. Things, objects – property, possessions – became proxy for power. Over time money became a proxy for things. The desire for power springs from a natural instinct to stabilize an unstable existence. Money has come to represent what we covet most – power. Money is power!
After the need to survive the most pervasive force in the human psyche is the drive to gain power. We want to be in control, we want to be in charge – we want to be powerful. So by securing prosperity for yourself and your kin, you aren’t looking for money. You really aren’t looking for tangible things; you are seeking power. But to what end?
We are simple, relatively small and powerless creatures making our way in a material existence. We judge our surroundings and our success by what we can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell – this is after all a physical world. And in this physical world we see limited resources, limited time, and lots of competition. We have come to believe, by lifetimes of physical evidence, that our survival and success are dependent on our ability to compete for a share of the resource pie; to accumulate what we can, and thereby achieve some level of power over our existence.
Digging a little deeper leads to the question – Why do we want money? In the final analysis it is not money, nor things, nor power that really matters – these are all means to an end. Life is ultimately all about experience and the experiences we seek are about abundance, about growth, and fulfillment. We seek money for power, we seek power for happiness. Ultimately, it’s all about happiness.
Life is fleeting. We are on a temporary journey, moved by some forces to act – what we seek is happiness – what we get is experience. If experience and happiness are not one and the same, then the task is not to labor for money – it is to find fulfillment.
Money and power are really only tools. What you seek, truly, is to build an abundant, fulfilled and fulfilling life. Money, as a medium of exchange, as a unit of account, and as a store of value is one tool available to you to use in this physical existence. Don’t waste life accumulating money when what you really desire is happiness. Devote your time, energy and talents to the manufacture of joy and money won’t matter.
Copyright © 2010 Scott F Paradis
A research study from Harvard Medical School and the University of California, San Diego shows that happiness spreads through social networks, sort of like a virus, meaning that your happiness could influence the happiness of someone you’ve never even met.
Happiness, the researchers found out, is influenced not just by the people you know, but by the people they know.
Another study, published earlier, also found that smokers were more likely to give up cigarettes when their family, friends, and other social contacts stopped smoking. The study on how social networks affect mood was designed to determine whether happiness spreads through social networks in a similar way.
They concluded that the happiness of an immediate social contact increased an individual’s chances of becoming happy by 15%, Fowler says.
The happiness of a second-degree contact, such as the spouse of a friend, increases the likeliness of becoming happy by 10%, and the happiness of a third-degree contact — or the friend of a friend of a friend — increases the likelihood of becoming happy by 6%.
The association was not seen in fourth-degree contacts (the friends of friends of friends of friends).
Having more friends also increased happiness, but having friends who were happy was a much bigger influence on happiness.
Read more on how to increase your happiness st WebMD.
One of the values of a good Time Management System is that it helps you separate the good use of your time from the less effective uses. This comes into play when we have to deal with days where we are busy, but not productive. From the onset, being busy is not what we want; running around working hard, at whatever comes across our desk is not a recipe for success.
Being Busy
The days where we worked hard, ran hard, accomplished things, and still ended up dissatisfied at the end of the days were the days that were busy for us, but did nothing or very little to move our Agenda along. That is why we have an Agenda; to help us plan and organizes our day, so we can move closer to achieving what we want to do and when we feel it should be done. The purpose of adhering to a good Time Management system is that we want to have a plan, and then work that plan.
Being frantic and hectic does nothing in the long run to help us achieve and realize our goals. We want to achieve the following: being productive. What is not going to benefit us is just being hectic and running around, this leads to nothing of real value for us, except perhaps by accident.
Being Productive
This is where we want to be, being productive means we have achieved what we set out to do, and that is to move closer to realizing what we have set out in our daily Agenda as well as our long term plans and goals. If you do not have a plan, then you are simply at the mercy of the events and the people around you who do. When you allow this to happen, then being wrapped up in other peoples activities is the best that can happen to you and that is not an appealing thought.
Accomplishing what you set out to do has many benefits, one is, success breeds more success. If you get into a groove, see things working out for you, you tend to keep doing what is working for you. Time Management is an acquired taste, some people will turn their nose up at the mere mention of it, and others will latch on, see that it works and then become an advocate, a convert of it. The value of a good system is that it helps to keep you focused and your eye on the ultimate prize, you and your productivity and your happiness.
What we want to be able to do as much as possible is to have full, busy as well as productive days. How do we do that? Self-management, no I did not misspell, we need to control and manage our time, as well as managing ourselves at the same time. Once we separate what we want to do, we then have to discipline ourselves into doing what we set out to do. That is where we have to show some discipline and some focus, keep out the influences and the distractions, and get down to business. This is where a good Time Management System is worth its weight in gold, it will not only help establish a plan for you to follow, it is designed to keep you on course and focused on the tasks at hand.
Easier said than done, it is a long process and made longer if we are not aware of the implications. The days that we get what we want to get done are the days that we are closer to where we want to be. The days that will allow other people, other events and other Agendas to prevail, we a have taken a step backwards. We have only so much time, energy and resources at our disposal, we need to be sure that we make the best use of these limited, non renewable assets.
If only you had a bit of extra cash to throw around, you could quit your job, buy an island in the Caymans and relax on the beach for the rest of your days… and surely happiness could be had for a cool one or two million dollars.
Why then do psychologists and economists who study the relationship between money and happiness think differently?According to them, you’d likely grow tired of your cabana in a matter of years. You see, people do have an astonishing ability to adapt to all sorts of situations, and while that can be a good thing if you get locked out of your house during a drenching rain, it also means you’d quickly grow accustomed to a life of affluence.
Read the full story at HowStuffWorks.com
This article is intended for probably your significant other or spouse to read… I felt compelled to write it talking to them about your needs since my marriage went south due to the lack of much of this. If you currently don’t have one, give it to a family member or friend and/or save for Mr. Right later! Enjoy and hope it helps!
Did you know (you, meaning the non-entrepreneurial spouse of an entrepreneur) that your entrepreneurial spouse (or significant other – just as important in this scenario) takes on a huge responsibility when they start their own business?
Granted, some of the smaller, home based type business owners could be out there just to make a few extra bucks for fun or they’re doing their business for a hobby, not truly a serious business venture.
However, I’m not talking about them here, I’m talking about actual entrepreneurs (home based or not) who are in business to turn a profit AND provide products and services they are passionate about.
I’m also talking about the ones who are your significant others or spouses (so forward this to them if this is the other party – you’ll be glad you did) in which case YOU are also NOT an entrepreneur yourself and frankly wouldn’t want to be….is this you? Did you know that your spouse may not be getting the kind of support they need in order to be fully confident and successful in their business? (yes, by you) And in order to be completely successful at running your own business CONFIDENCE is the key!
When you have a job working for someone else, often you can succeed without that much confidence but when it’s your own business…there’s absolutely NO way.
Did you know that your spouse may not know how to communicate this need to you?
Now, two things can happen here….
1 – you won’t care and you’ll stop reading this or 2 – you’ll care but you’ll have no idea if this is true or even how to find out what your spouse needs exactly (hopefully you’re still reading…)
If #1 occurred then you’re probably on your way to divorce anyway so your situation is most likely not fixable.
If you’re in alignment with #2 though then GREAT! But now what?
There are basically 2 things you can do to support your spouse in business (even if you don’t have any involvement in their business, know what they do or want to know).
You can either take Action or Non-Actions. Actions consist of ways to physically help out or support your spouse.
Non-Actions consist of ways to emotionally and mentally help out or support your spouse.
Your spouse unfortunately needs both in order to feel fully supported, loved and encouraged (that’s the hard part, it requires some work).
But let’s break it down…
Actions
o helping – when asked for help
o learning – about what they do and how else you can support them
o listening – to requests, feelings, emotions and needs o loving – at all times in various ways that are noticeable
Non-actions o understanding – they need to do it ‘their way’
o giving – of your energy when they need it the most regardless if asked
o sharing – feelings, emotions, questions and concerns
o expecting – nothing but complete and utter happiness among all
Of course there’s so much more to it than this but that’s what marriage counselors are for right?
No, seriously…the one way to learn better how to communicate and support your entrepreneurial spouse is to start the dialog, practice this stuff, ask what they need, learn more about what others are doing and then get help as needed
By Marilyn Gordon
Here’s a roadmap for transforming anything in your life. Would you like to do better in your business or create a happier relationship or family life? Would you like to turn anxiety into peace or anger into forgiveness? You have the power to do this, and as you read on you’ll find a special way to transform something in your life that is challenging you.
Follow the Stages in a Flow
You can take three main steps when you want to create transformation in any area of your life. They are: Experience, Release, and Transform. In Step One, you experience and pay attention to whatever is concerning you. In Step Two, you release your concern. In Step Three, you transform it into a higher state of mind.
Step One: Experience
Experiencing what’s going on within you is about paying attention, paying attention to places in which you’re hiding your power under old limitations. You look at how it feels inside your emotions and your body, and you become more familiar with how your concerns are presenting themselves within you. By first paying attention to the details of whatever is bothering you, you begin the process of transforming those limitations into freedom and joy.
Step Two: Release
Release is a natural process. Clouds release raindrops when it’s time to let the rain come. Boils on the skin release foreign matter when it’s time to heal. Mothers (hopefully) release their children when it’s time for them to grow up. And so do we release old issues when it’s time for us to let go. Sometimes we do it vocally; sometimes we do it energetically. Sometimes the release is visual. Breathing is a powerful way to release.
Step Three: Transform
The third step, transformation, comes when you’re ready to shift your consciousness to a new level, when you are ready to see with different eyes. The enlightened ones remind us that we’re asleep and dreaming this reality. It seems so real, yet your higher wisdom can lead you to great expanded realities and new areas of understanding. Sometimes the transformation will take you to places filled with light. Or you may experience a profound wisdom coming forth that is way beyond your usual ability to be wise. You may find that deep understanding is flowing from your soul. Always, you will be uplifted into the experience of love.
The Transformational Process
This transformational process is a natural one. We may have the perception that everything is constantly transforming in the universe. After the rain, the dust of the city is cleaned away. The air is fresh, and you may perceive a kind of purity in the atmosphere. You create this transformation in a microcosmic personal way. You go through the steps of Experience – Release – Transform, and you bring yourself back to your natural state of healing, wisdom, and love.
By Maria Rattray
She’s affectionately called ‘The Soup Lady’. Now well into her eighties, she can be seen in the central district of Canberra, every Friday night, giving free soup and blankets, not only to the homeless, but to anyone in need. She sees Canberra’s student population as a somewhat disadvantaged group, and so they too share in her offerings.
But let’s go back to many years ago, to a time when Stasia was a young woman. She fled Poland during the occupation in World War Two, losing everything, and arriving in Australia with her husband and two young sons. When her marriage failed, she was left to care for and rear, her two sons. Although a qualified nurse and nursing sister, her qualifications were not recognized in Australia and so, she was only able to gain work as a cleaner.
Many years back, in the seventies, when Stasia’s sons were teenagers, a young friend approached her with a view to asking her to help him set up a soup kitchen for the homeless. As one of her sons had been addicted to heroin, and she had been witness to the plight of the addicted, she agreed to do so, using some of the proceeds of her cleaning job to fund the project and using her kitchen for the soup-making. Nothing was donated, and yet for nine years, many were fed on the kindness and generosity of this amazing lady.
The young friend eventually married and left Canberra, but Stasia continued her mission alone, serving hundreds of people every Friday night, in Canberra. Canberra’s winters can be cold and daunting, but this did not deter Stasia. It was as if she had a contract to be there, winter chills or no winter chills, and she honoured that contract!
As time went by, word got out about Stasia and her work. In time local groups and clubs banded together to help her and contribute. A van was provided for her and local businesses helped with the produce, equipment, and other forms of assistance.
Rightfully, in 1996, Stasia was given the award of Citizen of the Year. In her eyes though, she is no hero, and when asked how long she would continue her work, she intimated that it would be until she died. In my mind I think that Stasia will have many years left to serve others.
Is it not strange that those who give, always manage to continue to give? They pay their bills, they give again and again to others, and yet, there is always some left over at the end of the day. Moreover, sunny and positive by nature, they tend to stay healthy and much fitter than others of their vintage.
So what can we learn from this wonderful lady? The message is clear, the picture even clearer. Stasia has an intuitive understanding and commitment to, the sanctity of life. Care and compassion are her yardsticks for living in a world where many of us have forgotten to serve, a world where many of us turn our heads and pretend that suffering is not on our door step, a world where the disadvantaged often remain so.
If we are to make this planet that we all share a better place, we can and must learn much from people such as Stasia. To do so, we must first assess our values, strengthen our commitment and resolve to being the best we can be, to be true to our integrity, and find utter joy and compassion in everyone who passes our way.
If we all took just one step along this journey, and tried to exemplify such qualities, what a wonderful world this would be!