Right now, in this moment, you have everything you think you deserve. You are living the life you believe you are worthy of. Your life experience mirrors your internal self-esteem. If you have an unhealthy low self-esteem you will never enjoy the life you dream of. Even if you achieve success in the accomplishment of a desired goal you will self-sabotage until you are back at a level, a comfort zone, that reflects how you feel about yourself. If you have a healthy high self-esteem you will allow yourself to achieve and enjoy what you want and know you deserve. Even if you experience a dramatic financial loss or traumatic experience you will rebound. You will again create wealth and create newer and better experiences. It’s as simple as that.

Know this: The mere fact that you are here on this Earth indicates that you are worthy whether you believe it or not. Each and every person is blessed with a unique talent, a passionate purpose, and the wisdom to express their full potential. This is your birthright. Wherever you are disconnected with who you are at your deepest core is where you will struggle. Wherever you are out of alignment with your truth and what your heart calls forth for you to become is where you will find dissatisfaction, frustration, and desperation.

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” – Henry David Thoreau

All you have to do is spend some time at the check-out lane in your local grocery story and read the headlines on the displayed tabloid magazines to see examples of celebrities who seemingly “have it all” throw it away in a self-destructive act. You shake your head in amused amazement and wonder “What was he thinking?!”

Chances are the inner thoughts of a person who crashes and burns irrationally are something like:

“I don’t deserve all the good stuff that I am experiencing.” “It’s only a matter of time before ‘they’ find out I’m not good/talented/smart enough to have what I have or do what I do.” “This (good stuff) won’t last.”

We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” – Albert Einstein

Self-destructive behavior doesn’t have to be done on a big scale to be damaging. You self-sabotage when you say NO to who you are, No to what you want to have and do. You toss your opportunities away when you resist what will bring you closer to your aspirations. You limit yourself when you find excuses and reasons (F.E.A.R.) why you ‘can’t’ what you ‘want’.

If you’re a person who realizes that you have had a roller-coaster pattern of self-sabotage you are being run by what I call your own internal Inner Critic who reminds you day in and day out of what you can and cannot do, do and do not deserve. Know, too, that this Inner Critic – the voice of your self-doubt and fear – means well but is woefully misguided. The job of the egoic Inner Critic is to keep you safe, and what will keep you safe is to stay right where you are. You may not like your current circumstance but if it’s what you know, it is safe – and comfortable.

If you’re a person who can’t seem to get out of your own way realize that you are holding yourself back, keeping yourself safe. You’ve bought into the fear and self-doubt served up by your Inner Critic and your unsupportive thoughts and actions are merely attempts to justify your purchase. You’ve invested heavily in time and effort in these erroneous thought patterns and you’re not willing to toss them out into the garbage bin where they belong. You’re not going to buy into a newer, better, belief system.

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

The first step in getting and keeping more of the good experiences and less of the bad is to be willing to not believe everything you think. Stop the insanity by examining your experiences and questioning the thoughts behind the errant behavior pattern. If you fall on your butt take a look at how you slipped up. What were you thinking? If the thoughts behind the actions that ended up in a bad experience were based in self-doubt or fear shine some light upon those thoughts. Ask yourself the following questions about the thoughts you’ve let run you:

- Are they true, absolutely? – How do you know? – What evidence do you have to support this truth? – Can you find any evidence to the contrary? – What is holding onto this belief costing you? – What are you getting out of holding onto this belief? – Who would you be, what would you do, what would you have if you did not have this belief?

Instead of focusing upon that which you believe you are not, what you cannot be, do or have, turn your attention to who you are, what you have and what you have done that is positive. You’ll discover that what you have achieved far surpasses what you have not. You’ll realize all the good you have done for yourself and others. Create a new belief, a new perspective about who you are and what you deserve and can experience.

“Many people die with their music still in them.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

Boost your self-esteem by honoring yourself and your dream. You deserve your dream, that’s why you have it! Notice when your thoughts, comments and actions take you away from that dream. Mindfully think, speak and act in the direction of what makes your heart sing.

Copyright © 2009 Valery Satterwhite

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