Tag Archives: frustration

Don’t Believe Everything You Think – How To Change Misguided Thoughts

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Right now, in this moment, you have everything you think you deserve. You are living the life you believe you are worthy of. Your life experience mirrors your internal self-esteem. If you have an unhealthy low self-esteem you will never enjoy the life you dream of. Even if you achieve success in the accomplishment of a desired goal you will self-sabotage until you are back at a level, a comfort zone, that reflects how you feel about yourself. If you have a healthy high self-esteem you will allow yourself to achieve and enjoy what you want and know you deserve. Even if you experience a dramatic financial loss or traumatic experience you will rebound. You will again create wealth and create newer and better experiences. It’s as simple as that.

Know this: The mere fact that you are here on this Earth indicates that you are worthy whether you believe it or not. Each and every person is blessed with a unique talent, a passionate purpose, and the wisdom to express their full potential. This is your birthright. Wherever you are disconnected with who you are at your deepest core is where you will struggle. Wherever you are out of alignment with your truth and what your heart calls forth for you to become is where you will find dissatisfaction, frustration, and desperation.

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” – Henry David Thoreau


All you have to do is spend some time at the check-out lane in your local grocery story and read the headlines on the displayed tabloid magazines to see examples of celebrities who seemingly “have it all” throw it away in a self-destructive act. You shake your head in amused amazement and wonder “What was he thinking?!”

Chances are the inner thoughts of a person who crashes and burns irrationally are something like:

“I don’t deserve all the good stuff that I am experiencing.” “It’s only a matter of time before ‘they’ find out I’m not good/talented/smart enough to have what I have or do what I do.” “This (good stuff) won’t last.”

We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” – Albert Einstein

Self-destructive behavior doesn’t have to be done on a big scale to be damaging. You self-sabotage when you say NO to who you are, No to what you want to have and do. You toss your opportunities away when you resist what will bring you closer to your aspirations. You limit yourself when you find excuses and reasons (F.E.A.R.) why you ‘can’t’ what you ‘want’.

If you’re a person who realizes that you have had a roller-coaster pattern of self-sabotage you are being run by what I call your own internal Inner Critic who reminds you day in and day out of what you can and cannot do, do and do not deserve. Know, too, that this Inner Critic – the voice of your self-doubt and fear – means well but is woefully misguided. The job of the egoic Inner Critic is to keep you safe, and what will keep you safe is to stay right where you are. You may not like your current circumstance but if it’s what you know, it is safe – and comfortable.

If you’re a person who can’t seem to get out of your own way realize that you are holding yourself back, keeping yourself safe. You’ve bought into the fear and self-doubt served up by your Inner Critic and your unsupportive thoughts and actions are merely attempts to justify your purchase. You’ve invested heavily in time and effort in these erroneous thought patterns and you’re not willing to toss them out into the garbage bin where they belong. You’re not going to buy into a newer, better, belief system.

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

The first step in getting and keeping more of the good experiences and less of the bad is to be willing to not believe everything you think. Stop the insanity by examining your experiences and questioning the thoughts behind the errant behavior pattern. If you fall on your butt take a look at how you slipped up. What were you thinking? If the thoughts behind the actions that ended up in a bad experience were based in self-doubt or fear shine some light upon those thoughts. Ask yourself the following questions about the thoughts you’ve let run you:

- Are they true, absolutely? – How do you know? – What evidence do you have to support this truth? – Can you find any evidence to the contrary? – What is holding onto this belief costing you? – What are you getting out of holding onto this belief? – Who would you be, what would you do, what would you have if you did not have this belief?

Instead of focusing upon that which you believe you are not, what you cannot be, do or have, turn your attention to who you are, what you have and what you have done that is positive. You’ll discover that what you have achieved far surpasses what you have not. You’ll realize all the good you have done for yourself and others. Create a new belief, a new perspective about who you are and what you deserve and can experience.

“Many people die with their music still in them.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

Boost your self-esteem by honoring yourself and your dream. You deserve your dream, that’s why you have it! Notice when your thoughts, comments and actions take you away from that dream. Mindfully think, speak and act in the direction of what makes your heart sing.

Copyright © 2009 Valery Satterwhite

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Valery is an Artist Mindset Mentor & Coach who helps creative people get out of their own way so that they can overcome the struggles in the life of an actor, artist and performer. Clients learn how to express their full potential to get out of their own way & stop self-sabotaging behavior. Empower the Wizard Within , inspire your Inner Muse. http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free “Empower the Wizard Within tips”!


Attention Adults with ADD: What To Do When Hyperfocus Works Against You

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1174626_bee_31Adults with ADD are both blessed and cursed with the ability to hyperfocus.
Hyperfocus is a unique ability that we have to focus
so intensely that the rest of the world temporarily disappears. It’s the the opposite of boredom. Instead of having difficulty concentrating or getting started, the hyperfocused ADDer has trouble shifting focus away from the interesting subject at hand.

Hyperfocus can be a really good thing. If you’re highly interested in what you’re concentrating on, then the ability to hyperfocus is an asset. It can help you get through a difficult task, like a report for work or a household problem that needs to be fixed. It can also help tremendously during creative periods in which your juices are flowing and you’re having fun writing, painting, crafting, or expressing yourself in an artistic outlet.

This positive hyperfocus is what I call being in the flow. You enjoy what you’re doing–whether it’s work, problem-solving, or being creative. You’re productive and you enjoy not only what you’re doing, but also the fact that you’re making progress. Your thoughts and actions are flowing.

However, hyperfocus can also be a bad thing. Adults with ADD often go into hyperfocus mode when a stressful problem or situation presents itself, and the inability to tear yourself away results in more stress. This can happen when writing a paper for school, trying to solve a problem at work, attempting to fix a broken gadget, or even surfing the Internet.

Negative hyperfocus is what I call being in the stick. It’s really about an inability to shift focus, and the frustration that results. You want to finish a task or make progress but your frustration in the situation has you feeling unable to move on. You become determined to do what you set out to do at any cost. (Perfectionism often causes negative hyperfocus.)

In this state, you keep telling yourself, “Just two more minutes. I’ve got to get this.” But it’s never just two more minutes. Your thoughts and actions are stuck. You don’t feel good about making progress. You feel compelled to finish what you set out to do at all costs–including losing sleep, skipping meals, and compromising your mental health.

In short, positive hyperfocus feels good and makes you happy. Negative hyperfocus feels bad and makes you stressed.

Negative hyperfocus is very difficult to break out of. It takes a lot of awareness and a healthy dose of rationalizing self-talk. Forcing yourself (yes, forcing yourself) to get unstuck by stopping and de-stressing is essential to breaking the pattern.

It helps to remember that in that stressed out and frantic state, the things you actually accomplish are often inferior to what you would accomplish in a relaxed state. Operating from a calm and centered place is sure to produce better results than operating from a stressed and frantic place.

So the next time you find yourself hyperfocusing, stop and check in with yourself to determine if you’re fantastically flowing, or stressfully sticking.

Ask yourself: Do I feel good about what I’m accomplishing, or am I just stressed out? If the answer is “I’m just stressed,” then take a step to break the pattern. Walk away.

Copyright © 2009 Jennifer Koretsky

Jennifer Koretsky is the Founder of the ADD Management Group, Inc. and the author of the new book Odd One Out: The Maverick’s Guide to Adult ADD. Jennifer and her team work with ADD adults who are overwhelmed with everyday life in order to help them simplify, focus, and succeed. For free resources and information on adult ADD, visit http://www.ADDmanagement.com .

Become Aware to Succeed

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1186941_maceskySuccess in life is not difficult or tricky. It’s not luck either. Success can be summed up in ONE word: alignment.

For you to succeed, in any endeavor, you must learn to align 4 basic components of your life. The four components are:

1. Your thoughts

2. Your decisions

3. Your actions

4. Your awareness

Today, we’ll discuss the fourth basic component: your awareness.

Your Awareness

Awareness isn’t a big deal to people who don’t want to succeed. But awareness IS the most important component to success once you’ve started thinking, deciding, and acting in a way that takes you toward your dreams and goals (your success).

Here’s what most people, who are on track for success but never make it, do:

1. They think right

2. They make smarter decisions

3. They take massive action, consistently

4. And they end up in the wrong spot (i.e. – not where they wanted to be)

Now, why is that? The answer is simple. They were not AWARE of the results they were getting. They were getting results and didn’t stop to think where THOSE results were taking them.

Listen, to make it to where you want to go, you have to know where you are at all times.

Think about it. When you go on vacation to a place you’ve never been before, do you stop every once in a while to make sure you heading in the right direction?

Of course you do. So, why would you NOT stop and make sure the results you’re getting are taking you in the right direction when it comes to your success?

It just makes sense to do so.

So, why do a lot of people fail to monitor their results? Here are the two primary blunders most people make and how you can avoid them:

1. Results Trap

Again, the actions you take and the results you get can be addicting.

After all, if you’re getting results, why should you stop and question that? Just keep going and you’ll eventually make to where you want to go.

Right? Wrong!

Getting results is awesome. That’s what drives most successful people. But, if the results you’re getting aren’t helping you make progress toward your ultimate outcome, what use are they?

Listen, life is not just about taking action and getting results. Life is about the journey you take and the person you become when you get to where you want to go.

Life isn’t easy. But it’s worth every mistake. It’s worth every struggle. It’s worth every disappointment, frustration, and heartache.

Just make sure these set backs aren’t in vain. Know where you want to end up and be aware of where you are at all times. The right results will get you to where you want to be.

Remember, results don’t equal success. The right results equal success.

2. Ignorance

You don’t know what you don’t know.

As I said before, the people who seem to do it all right and still fail are the ones who are not aware of the results they’re getting.

So, the problem is not, “I can’t get results”.

The problem is they don’t know they have to track their results and make mid-course corrections to achieve their results.

In other words, they are ignorant to awareness and its importance.

But not you!

You now understand that you have to know where you are at all times if you’re going to get to where you want to be.

You know you have to become aware. You know you have to make corrections along the way. You know success is right around the bend.

So, become aware and succeed!

Weston Lyon is recognized as one of the nation’s leading experts on finding time for what’s important in life. To grab a FREE copy of Weston’s e-book, 7 Strategies to Create Time in Your Crazy Busy Life, go to http://www.creatingspacebook.com