Tag Archives: compassion

What Do You Love About Yourself?

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Paula Gregorowicz, The Paula G Company, helps women cultivate the confidence they need to uplevel their life and business and succeed on their own terms.

Can you answer that question quickly and with a nice long list? If you can’t you’re not alone. So many people really struggle with this question. If I asked you the question “What do you dislike about yourself?” Would the answers flow freely and make a long list? If so, again, you have lots of company.

What got me thinking about this topic again was our monthly full moon gathering. We each were asked to bring to the circle a list of 2-3 things we love about ourselves and 1-2 qualities we would really like to focus on shifting for the better (aka things we don’t like as much or wish we were better at). When we met, we each got to share and talk about our list and light a candle to hold these intentions.

Once again I got to experience firsthand the power of watching wonderful people struggle so much to acknowledge things they love about themselves while quickly jumping right to the “don’t like/need to improve” list. I have seen it so many times — as a participant and assistant at Debbie Ford’s Shadow Process, in my clients, my friends, and definitely myself.

What fascinates me is how when one person speaks in the group and struggles with finding qualities she loves about herself, the others present can so quickly name those qualities. “You are compassionate! You are a passionate woman! You are so giving and charitable! You are creative and talented! You are loving!” The positive qualities just flow effortlessly from the group. Yet, the minute the question gets turned back on us, we freeze like deer in the headlights, mutter a bit, turn our gaze downward, and say “um, hmmm, I don’t know”. Almost as if saying “Well, I don’t really have any positive qualities that I acknowledge myself for or that I like or that I think matter enough.”

What’s up with that!? And I have to say while this time I was able to quickly say that I love my sense of humor, compassion, and ability to love, if someone asked me to claim some other positive qualities that I don’t see or embrace in myself (but easily see in others), I’d shy right away.

In my training as an Integrative Coach I learned a lot about what we call light shadows — those positive aspects of ourselves that we don’t notice or don’t fully embrace. One of the biggest clues to finding out what some of your light shadows are is to do the following exercise:

On a piece of paper write down the names of 3 people you admire. They can be famous people, friends, family, whomever (and they don’t even have to still be living). Now list what qualities about them that you admire. Qualities are things such as courage, authenticity, compassion, etc. Not “they have lots of money”. That’s an external thing that has nothing to do with WHO you (or they) are. Now you might say something like “keen businessperson” and that would qualify as a quality because it is about WHO that person is. Stop reading and do the list right now.

Now — do you see all those qualities? Those are qualities you already have and possess that you need to embrace in yourself. Now, maybe those qualities aren’t activated as much in you (yet) as they are in this other person, but you possess them and the first step toward making them flourish more in your life is to honor, acknowledge, and embrace the fact that they are a part of you.

You see, if we think “we’re not that” we deny who we really are and what gifts we have to offer the world. And, we all have unique gifts the world desperately needs that only we can deliver. Don’t shortchange yourself, those you love, and the world at large.

Embracing our light is a huge piece in becoming our own best friend and living powerfully in the world at our highest potential. So, start right where you are today and start embracing just one thing you love about yourself. And, if you need a little encouragement, find a supportive friend or community to help you do it.

Copyright © 2009 Paula Gregorowicz

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Wealth Creation – Compassion and Giving

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By Maria Rattray

She’s affectionately called ‘The Soup Lady’. Now well into her eighties, she can be seen in the central district of Canberra, every Friday night, giving free soup and blankets, not only to the homeless, but to anyone in need. She sees Canberra’s student population as a somewhat disadvantaged group, and so they too share in her offerings.

But let’s go back to many years ago, to a time when Stasia was a young woman. She fled Poland during the occupation in World War Two, losing everything, and arriving in Australia with her husband and two young sons. When her marriage failed, she was left to care for and rear, her two sons. Although a qualified nurse and nursing sister, her qualifications were not recognized in Australia and so, she was only able to gain work as a cleaner.

Many years back, in the seventies, when Stasia’s sons were teenagers, a young friend approached her with a view to asking her to help him set up a soup kitchen for the homeless. As one of her sons had been addicted to heroin, and she had been witness to the plight of the addicted, she agreed to do so, using some of the proceeds of her cleaning job to fund the project and using her kitchen for the soup-making. Nothing was donated, and yet for nine years, many were fed on the kindness and generosity of this amazing lady.

The young friend eventually married and left Canberra, but Stasia continued her mission alone, serving hundreds of people every Friday night, in Canberra. Canberra’s winters can be cold and daunting, but this did not deter Stasia. It was as if she had a contract to be there, winter chills or no winter chills, and she honoured that contract!

As time went by, word got out about Stasia and her work. In time local groups and clubs banded together to help her and contribute. A van was provided for her and local businesses helped with the produce, equipment, and other forms of assistance.

Rightfully, in 1996, Stasia was given the award of Citizen of the Year. In her eyes though, she is no hero, and when asked how long she would continue her work, she intimated that it would be until she died. In my mind I think that Stasia will have many years left to serve others.

Is it not strange that those who give, always manage to continue to give? They pay their bills, they give again and again to others, and yet, there is always some left over at the end of the day. Moreover, sunny and positive by nature, they tend to stay healthy and much fitter than others of their vintage.

So what can we learn from this wonderful lady? The message is clear, the picture even clearer. Stasia has an intuitive understanding and commitment to, the sanctity of life. Care and compassion are her yardsticks for living in a world where many of us have forgotten to serve, a world where many of us turn our heads and pretend that suffering is not on our door step, a world where the disadvantaged often remain so.

If we are to make this planet that we all share a better place, we can and must learn much from people such as Stasia. To do so, we must first assess our values, strengthen our commitment and resolve to being the best we can be, to be true to our integrity, and find utter joy and compassion in everyone who passes our way.

If we all took just one step along this journey, and tried to exemplify such qualities, what a wonderful world this would be!

Maria Rattray invites you to embrace a lifestyle that affords time freedom. Work from home. Say goodbye to the endless traffic jams that have formed part of your working week. Work from anywhere in the world in fact. Work the hours that suit you. Interested? Then”>http://www.freedompursuits.com.au/”>Then Join Me Here!

“The Art Of Power”

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Kate Loving Shenk is a writer, healer, musician and the creator of the e-book called “Transform Your Nursing Career and Discover Your Calling and Destiny.”

910893_light_explosionI’ve read most of Thich Nhat Hahn’s books. He is the Vietnamese Buddhist Monk who was banned from ever going back to his country because of his stand against the Vietnamese War.

This latest book, “The Art of Power,” written in Thich’s 90th decade, is honest and gets to the heart of what ails human kind in the beginning of the 21st century.

The book also addresses what can set us free.

The powers that Thich refers to are five in number.

1) The power of faith; this power is rooted as a confidence you develop within yourself that you have the capacity to be a Buddha, Christ or Krishna. You have the power to transform and to heal.

You develop a path to follow and you stay on it. You bring others with you who have the desire to follow the same path.

The path is a metaphor for a strong faith that where you are going is exactly where you are meant to go.

2) The power of diligence; This power refers to the act of returning to our best and our highest selves, by nurturing those seeds that bloom with love, compassion and patience.

When negative vibrations arise, we do not water those seeds. We learn to stop them in their tracks, by nurturing instead the best we have to offer.

Thich suggests that we do not watch violent TV, movies or belabor the negativity that appears to be happening in the world.

We must be careful not to give these vibrations a chance to flower and take over consciousness.

This requires diligence and a community of like minded people to help guide the process.

Skillfulness in this way creates mindfulness, or living in the present moment, called true diligence, in the Buddhist tradition.

3) The power of mindfulness; or the art of living in the present moment. Every act, whether it be washing a dish, lifting a block to build a wall, shoveling sand and rock to mix with cement to hold the wall together, all of these things done with full awareness bring a different energy to the mind.

The art of full awareness, or the power of mindfulness, is a practice which can be perfected, as described in the Eckhart Tolle/Oprah Webinar.

Sitting with what is, accepting it, breathing into it, brings tremendous relief to the mind and to the heart.

Thich and Eckart Tolle are mindfulness practitioners and they both look ageless. Tolle told Oprah on the final webinar that when you live deeply in the here and now, you age more slowly. (Tolle is 60). These two men are certainly testaments to that!

4) The power of concentration; When we drink our tea, walk to the laundry room, fold the wash; these take great concentration to hold on to the second at hand and not think about the past, what needs to be done, who needs to be called.

Slowing down and reflecting on the truths of life such as we are all connected, that our loved ones will die, and we will also die makes it starkly clear that all things in the physical dimension pass away and are created again.

Thus we concentrate on savoring the moments we have with our loved ones, allowing those times to be focused and fully appreciated.

5) The power of insight; By using the power of concentration, insights arise that allow you to unravel the meanings and revelations of life and its lessons.

For instance, the insight regarding the fact that all of us will die one day leads to the insight and revelation that we must cherish the time that we have, in this present moment.

Thich says that the grief felt at the time of a loved one’s passing can be attributed to the lack of in the moment caring, of time we really listened to and saw that person as they really were.

We may grieve the fact that we never took the time to really be with him or her.

The Buddhists call this constant changing reality we all live in “impermanence.”

The beauty of impermanence is that with every breath, we have the opportunity to begin anew. If we have been negligent in truly taking the time to be with the ones we love, then we can be with them now. Or if we have been negligent in taking care of ourselves, the insight that arises from practicing all five powers naturally propels us to take care of ourselves now.

The Buddhist philosophy is beautifully explained in Thich’s book. Thich outlines all aspects of Buddhism, and the simplicity of the teaching makes it very possible to understand.

This is one thing that makes the book a rarity.

Thich also takes the 21st century person to task. For instance, in the part about the “Five Mindfulness Training,” he tells us to watch our words, watch what we eat and tells us not to drink alcohol.

He tells us to love ourselves exactly as we are, and admonishes those who get cosmetic surgery.

Naturally, as a person who experienced the worst blood baths of the 20th century, the Vietnam War, he admonishes all acts of war.

As must we, if we hope to achieve the depth of understanding that arises when people work together and strive to develop compassion for one another.

We are not developing compassion when we numb our senses with alcohol and other drugs, nor can we be compassion when killing other humans in the name of war.

Thich also discusses the 3 Virtues:

1) The virtue of cutting off: What are we cutting off? Our anger, fear and delusion. Another way of saying cutting off is to let go and in the process, transform these negative emotions to a higher vibrational field.

2) The virtue of loving: When you offer care and respect as diametrically opposed to scolding or shouting at a person, you naturally gain respect and people are drawn to you.

3) The virtue of insight: This virtue is gained by looking deeply, not running away from pain and sorrow. By developing this virtue, difficulties and tensions are easily resolved.

By practicing the 5 powers and 3 virtues, spiritual authority results. An inner peace, a balanced calm is established. A natural tendency to help others is formed.

My favorite admonishment of Thich’s is: we must learn to uni-task and stop the multi- tasking that our society has condoned. We may speak on the phone, watch TV, all the while running a computer program.

Or we will text message a person when we really should be focused 100% on the person sitting across the table from us. This ability to do many tasks at once also has a numbing effect on the psyche. We may forget to rest, to listen to bird song, or tune into our own breathing.

The Art of Power By Thich Naht Hahn is my favorite of all his prolific books. The Tell It Like It Is, straight from the heart wisdom style of this book, was a wake up call.

This is a book to further transform the self.

It will change your life.

Click here to order the e-book: http://www.nursingcareertransformation.com Check Out Kate’s Blog: http://www.nursehealers.typepad.com http://www.katelovingshenk.com/blog