Tag Archives: awareness

The Journey to Becoming Yourself

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By Jan Engels Smith

In a world full of stress, deadlines, needs, and scarcity, it is sometimes hard to determine that you have any power. Helping yourself can feel like an overwhelming and unattainable mission. However, we also live in a world full of new information and understandings. Ideas of self-empowerment and the feelings that these truths bring is testimony for a new way of thinking.

The universe is unlimited, and, if you choose to explore it, you will awaken to a whole new way of knowing—a whole new way of being. Spirit is available to all people at equal levels; there is no “better than,” or “more deserving.” The choice to raise your consciousness means to broaden your awareness, open up to new possibilities, step out of your comfort zone, and allow information other than what you already “know.”

Spirit has many names: God, Great Spirit, All That Is, Mother/Father, Great Mystery, Allah, and Lord. All are interchangeable. Your spirit, which is housed in your body, is part of that giant whole. In fact, everything is made up of the same energy. All things—every tree, rock, grain of sand, gust of wind, drop of water, animal, insect, bird, planet, star—are expressions of the divine, and we are all interconnected in a divine and profound way.

You are an incredible spirit of divine perfection, the same composition as Spirit. Creator is an ocean and you are a drop of water in that ocean. You carry within you the exact components and properties of the entire ocean. You are made of Spirit, in the reflection of Spirit, and Spirit is in you. Continue reading →

Mind the Gap

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I visited my sister and her family during the year in London her husband pursued graduate work in play directing. My nephews hated British school, their American ways considered freakish and weird by the other kids. It was hard to eat well there as the produce offered in the grocery stores was at least a week old, but I loved visiting the places I’d dreamed of: Big Ben, the Tate Modern, wherever it was the Bloomsbury crowd hung out, and Carnaby Street, the center of ’60′s fashion. I cried at Poet’s Corner in Westminster Abbey seeing the memorials of Chaucer, Blake, Keats, and other great literary figures, comparing the reverence paid to that of American popular culture which considers poets just above the level of dirt.

We took the Underground everywhere, also known as the Tube, London’s clean and efficient rapid transit system. The Tube was great for people watching – nearly everyone looked puffy and as if they didn’t eat many fresh vegetables. There were signs posted all over that said Mind the Gap — a safety reminder for people to watch their step as they traversed from the platform to the train.

It seemed a bit more metaphysical to me.

Buddhists practice a meditation of watching the breath. It can be quite powerful to sit and observe the long inhale as it draws in, chest and lungs expanding, hopefully the abdomen and belly, too. Then to watch the long exhale, with its calming effect. When you sit with the breath long enough, you may experience an eerie sensation that you are not breathing at all — something is breathing you. In fact, it seems more accurate to say we are being “breathed.”

Osho, the great Tantra Master, however, said it’s really about watching for the gap between the outgoing and ingoing breath. It takes a little awareness but you can locate it if you slow way down, and if you look closely, you’ll notice a space between each inhale and exhale where nothing is happening. There’s a gap, a silence, a doorway to another reality. It’s like the silence between words, the white space on the page, the background murmur rather than the foreground conversation. That’s the gap, Osho said, where who you are really exists.

Another of my favorite memories of London was touring the Globe Theater, and our guide whose raucous stories split our sides with laughter. But the thing I loved most about London was these spiritual reminders appearing everywhere, all over underneath the town. Mind the Gap. Remember to find out who you really are.

© Catherine Auman 2009

Catherine Auman, MFT is a spiritual psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, Calfornia. She has advanced training in both traditional and alternative methodologies based on ancient traditions and wisdom teachings. Visit her online at http://www.catherineauman.com

What to Do if You Ever Feel Discouraged

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If you ever feel discouraged (and who hasn’t at some time or another?) there are plenty of ways to move beyond it. You can make it a temporary “blip” in time rather than a downward pull of emotional quicksand. Here are some ways of transforming your darkness into light.

Remember Abraham Lincoln

You may not know this, but Lincoln was a failure as a soldier, a businessman, a lawyer, and even a politician. He was defeated in five elections. He told a friend he was the “most miserable man living.” Then he finally won an election. And the rest is literally American history. There are stories of others who kept on failing until one fateful day it all turned around. Did you know that 27 publishers rejected Dr. Seuss’s first book, To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street?” 18 publishers rejected Richard Bach’s book Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Then it sold 7 million copies. You may be next.

Wait. It All May Shift in an Instant

You may not know when your time will come, but it may be in a few seconds, hours, days, or weeks. Do you believe in Divine Timing? Is there a perfect time for your destiny to be realized? Perhaps this is so, and whatever you’re waiting for may be in preparation for you now. How many people have jumped ship just before the perfect opportunity came to them?

Remember It Hasn’t “Turned Out” Yet

Have you ever wondered why it all “turned out” the way you think it has? “Why have I ended up like this?” you may ask yourself. But look at this with greater perspective. You’ll see that it hasn’t “ended up” at all. You’re on a path, still walking along, not at the end – but on the way. No one said it was supposed to be a smooth and easy path. Perhaps it has a lot of twists and turns. Maybe there are some bramble bushes along the way. Remember that you’re still traveling, and a bright light can appear on the road at any moment.

See the Larger Picture

If you can stand way back from the experiences you’re having at the moment, you may see that there’s a larger purpose in you’re being exactly where you are at the moment. It may be what Barack Obama calls a “teachable moment.” You may be gathering characteristics of strength, compassion and wisdom. You may be learning that your setbacks and challenges are actually advantages. Maybe you’re not supposed to be with that person in the long run. Maybe a different life path is calling you. Maybe you’re learning to be resilient enough to flow with any setback that comes along the way.

Remember It’s All Perception, Not Reality

What if the world as you see is not the true reality? What if this life is “but a dream?” What if you could go beyond the success/failure paradigm, beyond everything you’ve believed to be true about success and failure – and you could pierce through the clouds of illusion to see that you are now and always have been magnificent, brilliant, and radiant at your essence? Here you are connected with the enlightened point of view. You’re not stuck in realities that have been programmed into your awareness about what you “should or should not” be or do or have. You feel happy no matter what’s happening in the reality you perceive, happy because you live in a state of gratitude for everything you have and all that you already are.

Want to learn more about life transformation, spiritual growth, and healing? Get our 100 page free ebook, Extraordinary Healing, at http://www.thewisemind.com . You can also subscribe to our wonderful free monthly newsletter, “The Transformation News.” Marilyn Gordon is a board certified hypnotherapist, teacher, healer, and author.

Attention Adults with ADD: What To Do When Hyperfocus Works Against You

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1174626_bee_31Adults with ADD are both blessed and cursed with the ability to hyperfocus.
Hyperfocus is a unique ability that we have to focus
so intensely that the rest of the world temporarily disappears. It’s the the opposite of boredom. Instead of having difficulty concentrating or getting started, the hyperfocused ADDer has trouble shifting focus away from the interesting subject at hand.

Hyperfocus can be a really good thing. If you’re highly interested in what you’re concentrating on, then the ability to hyperfocus is an asset. It can help you get through a difficult task, like a report for work or a household problem that needs to be fixed. It can also help tremendously during creative periods in which your juices are flowing and you’re having fun writing, painting, crafting, or expressing yourself in an artistic outlet.

This positive hyperfocus is what I call being in the flow. You enjoy what you’re doing–whether it’s work, problem-solving, or being creative. You’re productive and you enjoy not only what you’re doing, but also the fact that you’re making progress. Your thoughts and actions are flowing.

However, hyperfocus can also be a bad thing. Adults with ADD often go into hyperfocus mode when a stressful problem or situation presents itself, and the inability to tear yourself away results in more stress. This can happen when writing a paper for school, trying to solve a problem at work, attempting to fix a broken gadget, or even surfing the Internet.

Negative hyperfocus is what I call being in the stick. It’s really about an inability to shift focus, and the frustration that results. You want to finish a task or make progress but your frustration in the situation has you feeling unable to move on. You become determined to do what you set out to do at any cost. (Perfectionism often causes negative hyperfocus.)

In this state, you keep telling yourself, “Just two more minutes. I’ve got to get this.” But it’s never just two more minutes. Your thoughts and actions are stuck. You don’t feel good about making progress. You feel compelled to finish what you set out to do at all costs–including losing sleep, skipping meals, and compromising your mental health.

In short, positive hyperfocus feels good and makes you happy. Negative hyperfocus feels bad and makes you stressed.

Negative hyperfocus is very difficult to break out of. It takes a lot of awareness and a healthy dose of rationalizing self-talk. Forcing yourself (yes, forcing yourself) to get unstuck by stopping and de-stressing is essential to breaking the pattern.

It helps to remember that in that stressed out and frantic state, the things you actually accomplish are often inferior to what you would accomplish in a relaxed state. Operating from a calm and centered place is sure to produce better results than operating from a stressed and frantic place.

So the next time you find yourself hyperfocusing, stop and check in with yourself to determine if you’re fantastically flowing, or stressfully sticking.

Ask yourself: Do I feel good about what I’m accomplishing, or am I just stressed out? If the answer is “I’m just stressed,” then take a step to break the pattern. Walk away.

Copyright © 2009 Jennifer Koretsky

Jennifer Koretsky is the Founder of the ADD Management Group, Inc. and the author of the new book Odd One Out: The Maverick’s Guide to Adult ADD. Jennifer and her team work with ADD adults who are overwhelmed with everyday life in order to help them simplify, focus, and succeed. For free resources and information on adult ADD, visit http://www.ADDmanagement.com .

Using Empowerment to Reclaim Your Power

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911509_another_red_apple1Empowerment is the belief that you are in control of your life. How you view the world, your relationships and your perceptions contribute to empowerment. People that feel they control the choices they make in their life tend to have a higher feeling of satisfaction with their life than people that feel they do not have any control or choice over their destiny. Believing that you have a choice about the direction of your life and how you respond to situations is called an internal locus of control. On the other hand, feeling that you do not have a choice and tending to be reactive to problems contributes to an external locus of control and is a factor that fosters stress and depression.

Having an internal locus of control does not mean that you can control what situations happen in your life. Everyone has problems and challenges. The empowerment comes from realizing that you have a choice as to how you want to deal with the situations in your life. If you feel like you would like to have more of an internal locus of control and to increase your feeling of empowerment, there are ways to increase them. Becoming aware of your self talk, beginning to set boundaries and awareness of choices you have to change a situation are steps to increase your sense of empowerment.

Self-talk

Everybody does self-talk and has messages that they use. Start to become aware of your messages, particularly when stressed or faced with a problem. Is your message negative or positive? Is it a message that you heard repeatedly from someone when you were younger? Does your message take you to a place of blame or one that focuses on solutions?

Phrases that include “should” and “I have to” are limiting and self criticizing. Start to replace these phrases with “I would like to,” “I hope to,” “I choose to.” These phrases reinforce you having a choice. Realizing that you have a choice increases your sense of control over the situation. This helps to reinforce that you have a choice as to what action you are willing to take in a situation. The awareness that you have a choice increases your locus of control.

Boundaries

Setting boundaries is necessary to having an internal locus of control. Boundaries state that you are learning to love yourself as well as letting others know that you are worthy. Setting boundaries is taking responsibility for your actions, being honest with yourself and others about what you are willing to do and giving yourself permission to take care of yourself in order to avoid resentment and bitterness.

When you first begin to set boundaries you might feel uncomfortable about asking for what you need. In addition, others might not take you seriously because they are not used to you setting limits. Be aware of your self-talk and don’t be too harsh on yourself. This is something new and it will become more comfortable as you continue to practice boundaries. Begin to take care of yourself. It is okay to do things for yourself without feeling guilty. When you begin taking care of yourself you will actually be able to take better care of others but without the resentment.


Empowering Choices

You can choose to avoid being involved in other people’s drama. You can choose to be a support to others, but you do not need to rescue anyone from their problems. In addition, you can choose to avoid contact with people that do not respect you and are not supportive of you. Think of all the time and energy that you give away to others. What percentage of that effort is returned or appreciated by the people you are helping? When you give away your power you continue to place the blame on people outside of you and to continue with an external locus of control. This contributes to you continuing to be a victim. Instead of giving away your power, focus on your own actions and choices.

Take responsibility for what you choose to do and what you choose to not do. Increase your awareness of choices for any situation. You always have a choice. There will be times when you find yourself in a difficult situation and don’t know what to do. Begin to list all the possible choices. Make a list of all possible choices without evaluating them. Write down anything that comes to mind, no matter how unrealistic it might seem. After you have made your list, review all of your options and choose what might seem like the best decision. Even if the first choice does not work, you can go back to your list and try something else. Dealing with situations this way will help you to become aware of new possibilities, increase the options that you can choose from and improve your ability to cope with problems.

You might have been giving your power away your entire life and didn’t even realize that you had a choice. This is how things have always been for you. You might have been taught that your needs are not important and that you need to care for the needs of others before your own. This external locus of control creates a feeling of being trapped, contributes to being a victim and a belief that you are not worthy of being cared for. You can begin to have awareness of what your choices are for each situation. Then you can start to make a conscious choice instead of being reactive. You will find that your actions will begin to be in line with what you say you truly care about.

As you listen to your needs, you will increase your sense of trust about what you want for yourself as well as your self respect. Developing this trust about what you deserve, including respect from self and others, contributes to your empowerment.

Ready to move forward in your life, but feel stuck? Learn how to transform the thoughts that keep you from taking action. Receive your FREE E-book, “Tapping Into Emotional Freedom” This article is by Loren Fogelman, the success expert, showing you how to master the marketing mindset to grow your business.