Everyone is involved in some form of personal development whether they realise it or not. Whether you are striving for a new job, better relationships, increased social activities, physical improvement, career development or a promotion it is a form of personal development. If you desire something to be better in your life then you have a dream. If you are striving to attain anything then you have a goal. You are already involved in personal development. I am about to share with you the biggest obstacle to your own personal development and the method for eliminating it!
One of the worst things you can do when you need to motivate yourself to reach your long held goals and dreams is to criticize yourself. This is a pattern that has been taught to you since you were very young with school tests, grading, placement in your class and class evaluations. Teachers, parents and peers constantly compared you to others as if that was a way of gauging your true worth. This kind of personal evaluation probably continues to this day with employment superiors over-viewing your work, progress and most likely conducting some form of personal evaluation.
This view of assessing your strengths and weaknesses, although probably well-intentioned, has set a pattern within your own mind for self-criticism and self-doubt. Do you compare yourself to others? Do you beat yourself up for not having attained the same level of success as those around you or those you view from afar? Are you disappointed in yourself when you fail to achieve exactly what you set out to achieve in the time you gave yourself?
Being self-critical can cause untold damage in your life. It can also have a major ripple effect through every area of your life regardless of where you have focused the criticism. By believing you are less than you should be you are sending a very strong message to your subconscious mind that you are just not good enough. This belief can then halt your progress in life and leave you feeling unsatisfied, unhappy and very frustrated because if you really are “not good enough” then there is no way you can change yourself, your situation or your life.
The first step to overcoming this self-defeating pattern of thinking and feeling is to become aware that it is there. Take stock of yourself and begin to notice when you are beating-up on yourself. When you notice yourself comparing your behaviour, talents, abilities or results to those of someone else immediately stop. Tell yourself that you will only judge yourself by your performance. If you give a task everything you’ve got and do your best then you are already a success regardless of the outcome. You have stretched yourself and your personal self-imposed boundaries.
Keep a journal of all your goals and list the success you have already created. When you can look back at where you once were and see the improvement that you have made personally then your confidence will be increased and your self-esteem will rocket. If you compare yourself to someone else then bare in mind that you do not know the other person’s circumstances. You do not know what advantages they had when they began, so comparing yourself to them is a futile exercise. Even if these people did overcome serious adversity to achieve the same things that you now want take it as a positive sign. If they did it then so can you!
Try to encourage yourself when you are faced with a challenge. The difference between internal criticism and internal encouragement can mean the difference between a life of fear, dread, discouragement, pain, frustration and a life filled with abundance, joy, peace and harmony.
Practise giving yourself some approval. If you look at what you are doing when you criticize yourself it is really a form of self-disapproval. Approving and disapproving are just choices. You make them internally and you can re-make them in a different way. Approving of yourself is just a choice ‘ make that choice now!
Give yourself approval just because you can. Many times we disapprove of ourselves and others for little or no reason so turn that around. Begin to give yourself approval just because you are you. Can you imagine how differently you will view the world through the eyes of self-approval? Can you guess what kind of strides forward you can make in your life with an internal voice of encouragement? Do you think you, your family, friends and work colleges would benefit from you taking this new radical approach to how you view yourself?
If you take this approach to yourself the progress you make will astound you and you will find yourself happier, more peaceful and will undoubtedly be surprised at what life gives you back. Your personal development is assured!
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