None of us want life to be out of control. This is at best unsatisfactory and at worst frightening. The key to taking control is to control our thoughts. This may raise the following questions for you, why don’t people control their thoughts and how can this be done.
“I can’t help the way I feel” we hear this often in everyday conversation yet it’s untrue. This idea is based on the assumption that thoughts follow feelings. In really the process operates in reverse. The way we think controls how we are going to feel.
The details of a psychologist’s experiment, one of many in this field, which follow, should clarify matters. Of a group of volunteers half were told to think happy, uplifting thoughts. The other half, were told to think angry thoughts. After half an hour the two groups were each shown a film.The group who had been thinking happy thoughts were shown a film of war and images from concentration camps. The group that had been told to think angry thoughts saw images of children playing and flowers. The results may surprise you.
The group who had been told to think angry thoughts responded to the pleasant pictures of children at play and flowers with angry feelings. Perhaps even more surprisingly the group told to think happy uplifting thoughts continued to do so when seeing films of war and concentration camps. This is not to suggest that we should ignore the fact that war and famine etc exist in the world. It does show however that feeling follows thought not the other way around. In dealing with distressing issues such as those mentioned above the person with a clear and positive frame of mind is in a better position to help. Perhaps by volunteering to help overseas or taking up a collection locally for refugees for example.
The person who dwells on upsetting thoughts does not help himself or anyone else. In answer to the second question of how to control our thoughts first observe them then change negative unhelpful thoughts to positive ones. You are probably thinking that requires work, effort and persistence. Yes, it does. However the rewards are immense.
Controlling your thoughts leads to control of your feelings and your actions. This allows you to develop the positive qualities that you wish to have, achieve the goals you set yourself and ultimately live your ideal life.
Here is an analogy. Imagine teaching a puppy to walk on a lead. At first the lead feels unfamiliar and the puppy pulls this way and that. You as dog owner gently but firmly correct him until he walks happily at your side in the direction that you choose to go. This will take time patience and effort. The reward is a happy dog and owner who can enjoy their walks together. How different this is from walking an unruly dog who can be a danger to himself and others and certainly not a pleasure to walk.
Most people are prepared to make an effort to give their pet happy stress free walks. Imagine a stress free life’ were you control your feelings and thoughts. This would lead to a highly motivated you who would do whatever was necessary to achieve your goals. Even better doing so would not feel like work but pleasure.
Want to know how much more you could be achieving? Email eileen@eileenedwards.co.uk for a free assessment. Eileen is a psychologist who helps ambitious people to use more of their minds in order to achieve more, earn more and have more fun. Eileen also has a website http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk . This site is concerned only with relationships.
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