Category Archives: mirrors

Is Your Life Full But Not Fulfilling?

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1150790_corn_poppy_1Do you find yourself running from place to place and task to task like a worker on an assembly line?

Are you someone who knows what it is like to have a feeling of success and achievement but all that feels a distant memory (even if, say you achieved something last week!?)

Are you somewhere that at best your life and career is feeling “eh, just alright” or worse it may even be sucking the life out of you? Perhaps you feel like you’re dying on the vine, or not even feeling much about it at all because you’ve been so numbed to the same routine that you feel like the Dunkin Donuts commercial in the 80′s where a big man shuffles like an automaton saying over and over again “time to make the donuts”. Does your day feel like that?

As the gifted human being I know you are then you know deep in your gut that there has to be more to life than this. I can remember uttering those same words myself almost daily during my first job out of college. Frankly I said those same words many times over the years as I navigated my way around feeling like a square peg in a round hole in career situations that never seemed to fit quite right. Everyone told me that “it” is just “normal”. It’s “just the way it is”. I didn’t buy it. It didn’t feel right to me.

So, here’s the thing – you are meant to have a fulfilling life. It’s not just supposed to be full for every waking moment in a mad dash to the end. It’s not supposed to be a “suck it up and do what you don’t want to so maybe one day you can retire” or “life’s a bummer and then you die” scenario. It might sound funny or harsh, but I know personally when I was around the age of 22 and a co-worker who had been miserable working in the same job for over 20 years said to me “if you hang in there and you’re really lucky you just need to bide your time for about 30 years and then you can retire” I thought my head would explode! What? Bide my time for decades?! Throw my life and spirit into the trash? Are you insane?

Whether I’ve been wise beyond my years or simply stubborn and adamant about living life fully, I’ve never wanted to settle. I’ve never wanted to miss out on all the interesting experiences and people around me. Ask my mother, she’ll tell you – I never napped as a baby. Her idea of working night shift and sleeping when I napped totally backfired because I never napped because I didn’t want to miss anything! (She was one tired lady for a while there.) Now while I’m quite good about getting my 7-8 hours of sleep a night, I still see my life as an awesome buffet of so many cool things I would love to experience. And, well, sometimes a good nap in the sun is one of them!

If your schedule is too packed or your spirit is dampened by days filled to the brim with things that don’t nourish YOU, you’re missing out. You’re living only a fraction of the life you’re meant to live. You’re experiencing only a small piece of the results and impact you’re meant to have in this world personally or professionally. You wouldn’t knowingly go to a store to pay twice as much and only receive half of what you’re meant to have, would you? Yet that is what you’re doing when you settle for full instead of fulfilling.

Is that really what you want from your one precious life?

I know my answer was a resounding NO. How about you? Are you ready to claim your birthright – the choice to choose to live your life on purpose and with intention? Only you have the power to say yes (and no one can say no for you either).

Copyright © 2010 Paula Gregorowicz

Paula Gregorowicz, The Paula G Company, helps women boost their confidence & so they reignite a sense of freedom & adventure in their lives and careers. Learn “5 Steps to Move from Fear to Freedom & Experience Greater Confidence” (free)

Overcoming Obstacles to Success: Increasing Your Possibility Quotient

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by Dinyah Rein

693590_inside_the_flower_3 “I can’t do that.” “That will never happen.” “It’s just not possible, or at least, it’s certainly not likely.” “It would be way too hard.”

How often do you give up on a dream, or a desire, or an idea, deciding it’s not possible before you even try? When was the last time you truly broke the mold and stepped into a whole new reality?

Let Yourself Dream

Close your eyes for a minute, and ask yourself, “What would I love to be, do or have in my life?” What’s there when you look? Can you allow yourself to dream? Is there a career you’d rather be in? Would you love to travel? Would you rather live in a different location, maybe a different climate? Do you wish you had more time for some of the things you love to do?

For most children, the sky is the limit. Anything is possible. Just ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and you’ll hear all the big dreams an unlimited self can dream. So what happened? Why is it that by the time you reached adulthood that space of possibility is gone, and the window on what’s possible shows such a narrow sliver?

The Power of What You Tell Yourself

Your sense of what’s possible, what could happen in your life, operates much like a thermostat. Decisions and life experiences as you were growing up helped to set that thermostat. Just like the thermostat in your home that helps maintain your temperature, you have a system within you that regulates what you can see as possible, what appears to be within your reach in life. Your self-talk is a part of that system. It helps to maintain the status quo, or homeostasis in the level or type of success you experience, and expect.

When you tell yourself something, like, “I can’t do that,” you are literally programming your subconscious mind. The subconscious is a kind of supercomputer, with tremendous capabilities, but no decision-making power, no ability to make what we think of as choices. So when you tell your subconscious, “I can’t do that,” it doesn’t argue, it doesn’t interpret, it just makes sure that you can’t – it literally does what you program in.

Choice is the responsibility of your conscious mind. Your conscious mind can break out of the programming, and want something new, something different. Your conscious mind can dream up new possibilities. Unfortunately, your conscious mind is not nearly as powerful as your subconscious. The subconscious is the supercomputer. It runs all the physical systems of your body. It’s the part that learned to drive, and can do it without any conscious attention from you.

Your conscious mind has a much smaller role. It thinks, plans, dreams, chooses. It can only focus on one thing at a time, while your subconscious can handle literally thousands of simultaneous functions.

Your conscious mind is only in charge about 5-10% of the time, according to the scientists. This is why changing a habitual behavior can be such a struggle. You can decide to do something new or different, but then the conscious mind goes on to other things, and the subconscious takes over. Your subconscious runs programs that were previously installed. It doesn’t pay much attention to a one-time new command. That new command is overridden by the tried and true programs already in operation.

Reset Your Possibility “Thermostat”

So how do you change your set point for possibility? How do you allow yourself to dream, and how can you open and allow your dreams to flourish, take life, and become your reality?

One essential key is to change your self-talk. Stop reinforcing the old computer programming. Start to become aware of the self-limiting self-talk, and each time you notice, change it. Here are some suggestions:

“I can’t” -> “I could”

“It’s not possible” -> “I wonder how”

“It’s too hard” -> “How could I”

“I have to” -> “I could choose to….., or I could…”

Another key is to breath some life into what you truly want, into your dreams, by creating goals and revisiting them daily. Look out into your future, and allow yourself to envision how you want your life to be – in 6 months, a year, 5 years. Write it. Picture it in your mind. Feel how you will feel when it’s reality.

To reprogram your subconscious mind, you need to imprint new habits, and erase or write over the old ones. Consciously altering your self-talk as much as you can (whenever you notice) and consciously focusing on a future of your choosing are two keys to this process.

The best time to start this process? Right now! What are you telling yourself about these suggestions? How about, “I can do this! I’m starting right now! This will make a big difference for me!”

Good luck with it! Let me know how it goes.

Dinyah Rein has been coaching people to win at their personal and life goals for more than 25 years. Learn how to succeed with your personal goals, download her free audio now at http://www.coachdinyah.com.

Forced Career Change? – Why This Could Be The Most Fantastic Thing That Has Ever Happened To You!

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By Roy Carter

Although this may be a time of great stress and worry for you, you may end up feeling that being forced to make a complete career change is not actually the end of the world!

Taking the right steps immediately to find the career or job options open to you may propel you into a completely different and more fulfilling lifestyle.

In fact, for many people, after the initial shock of being told that their position is redundant, it can be a time of re-evaluation and a time for considering the options for the future.

You probably feel a little overwhelmed by it all, a little panicky and even put out and angry but you should remember that it is your ‘position’ that has been made redundant, ‘not you’! That may seem like semantics, but it is an important distinction to make. People often report an initial feeling of worthlessness and a general feeling of not being wanted. It is not at all unusual or unnatural to feel this way, but your employer has in fact found it necessary to cut certain positions in order to make the company more cost effective.

Therefore, this is not in any way a slight on your ability and should not be considered as such. In fact, such thoughts can be mentally and emotionally destructive and can hinder your chances of moving ahead, so do not allow them to control your actions. Nor should you waste time and energy feeling aggrieved at your former employer. That is simply a waste of your time and you need to be focussing your energies on you, your family and your future right now, not on the past. After all, your future is something you can influence, your past is not.

The point is, whilst your job/position may be redundant, you most certainly are NOT! In fact for many people all over the world redundancy has brought the chance of a completely new start, often taking their lives into exciting new directions! Although you may be worried about the future and will probably be feeling a little down and depressed, now is not the time to let those emotions get the better of you. Remaining positive will be an important factor in your ability to take control of the situation and move forward.

Don’t allow that ‘little voice in your head’ to give you a negative mindset.

A career change can be just the boost you long for. Click the links below for sound advice on career change ideas , writing a compelling C.V. and Resumes together with advice for Career Change 50 . ‘You never get a second chance to create a first impression’.

“Success” Learning from my Parents Mistakes…

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By Anthony K Wilson Sr

As I look back I now understand how many hardships I did not have to face if I had taken my parents advice; now I will help my children break this cycle and capitalize on all this valuable insight.

Perhaps your parents had limitations which you do not have. Perhaps they made mistakes in their lives. Whatever your parents’ younger years consisted of, it is likely that they want better for you.

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Motivation – Go Do It!

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By Sharon Eden

I’m cooking new things in my world about which I feel excited and energised. However, I also feel shaky and sometimes downright scared at the same time! What me? Ooooh yes! What if I mess up? What if people don’t like what I do? Or even… what if I succeed? No, not that! What will I do then?

And once upon a time those feelings would have deterred me. Once upon a time I would have, and indeed did, create excuses for not doing what I wanted to do because I was so frightened by the prospect of doing it. I sometimes even used my ex-husband as an excuse because, for sure, he disapproved of many of the things I already did. Hence the ‘ex’!

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How to Use Conversation to Improve Your Public Speaking

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By Edward Hope

653181_coffee_shop_kenson_2Today, effective public speaking is about successfully communicating ideas and information that is worthwhile to the audience. It is no longer a fine art that only a few can aspire to. This means it is now easier for the ordinary individual to become an effective public speaker.

With effective public speaking being about the ideas being conveyed rather than fancy words and phrases, a conversational tone is considered in the majority of situations to be the most effective way to get a message across. An audience wants interesting content that they can use and do not expect fine oratory.

Public speaking has much in common with great conversation. Consider the situation where two people are in discussion. One person is talking and the other is listening. People are attracted to the conversation and soon the individual is in effect delivering a speech. All the person talking need do is raise their voice so all can hear and continue to speak in a conversational tone which is the most effective way.

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Stop Pretending You Don’t Have Negative Emotions!

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One thing that I have found is a common challenge on this path is that spiritually conscious people tend to not allow themselves to feel their negative emotions. They are strong, capable people who in general are very positive, yet in order to “stay positive” and have things “going good” they often ignore their emotions.

Sound familiar?

It is also a common fear that if you let yourself feel your negative emotions, you will plunge to the depths of them and never get out. That if you feel hurt by what someone says and you just let yourself feel it you are dwelling on it and it’s going to feel worse.

I really want to shed some light on this because it is one of the most damaging things I see spiritually conscious people tend to do to themselves. First, let’s look at what is really happening when you ignore or deny your emotions.

Do you often feel like people don’t seem to care about you as much as you want them to? About your needs and how you feel? Is your partner hurtful without realizing? Do you give so much and receive little in return?

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Put Your Problems on the Back Burner

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Ever have a problem or challenge that you just can’t seem to solve? Perhaps you’ve stewed over it a while, tried to force a solution, and gotten frustrated in the process? You toiled away for hours or days on end to no avail. Then, all of a sudden out of nowhere an idea comes to you when you least expect it – in the shower, taking a walk, shopping for groceries.

We’ve all had this experience. I know myself in my many years doing computer programming I might hit a snag and then go absolutely insane trying to find a problem. I would toil, curse, scream, and rip my hair out and not be able to solve it. Then, if I walked away from it or simply asked someone with a fresh set of eyes to look at it – boom – there is a simple answer and the problem gets solved in a matter of minutes the path forward gets clear in an instant.

What if you could tap into this ease and power from the get go? Continue reading →

Small Daily Practices Lead To Big Life Changes

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Here is a story that points out how beginning very small daily practices can create big change in only a little over a week. “Larry” came to work with me because he had suddenly lost his job, and felt overwhelmed, depressed, and lost. He wondered if he should start his own solopreneur business, and was looking for ideas and help. As I scanned his energy, though, I could easily discern that he had more going on than losing his work.

At the age of 42 he still lived with his mother, saying that he did so to help take care of her since she is slightly impaired. When I asked him how he saw that fitting for him, he said “I am waiting for her to die so that I will be free.” He had remained in very low-paying work even though he has accomplished very high results in his work. His dream is to travel the world but he has never owned a passport. Continue reading →